Unreachable

Chapter 12~ All in Your Head

The sound of a couple of birds woke you. The sun did its usual beam through the curtains allowing the white walls a glow. Rolling over to the other side you expected a pair of loving arms to wrap around you pulling your body close, littering you with morning kisses. Instead there sat an empty side. It was cold like nobody had laid there for some time. Staring at the ceiling for while, you got tired of being alone.

You walked over to Cordelia's office. The two of you had a knocking pattern that told the other if one of you were on the other side. "Come in love." Her voice, angelic as ever. Peaking your head through the unlatched door. She seemed to be lummis. "Hi you." Scrunching your nose slightly was a habit when you smiled. "I always loved it when you did that." Cordelia mocked your actions before landing a soft kiss on your lips. She felt cold to the touch. Shes always warm. "Go on, the others are waiting for you." She put her hand out towards the door.

You raised an eyebrow walking back into the hallway then looking back at Cordelia who had a faint smile brushed across her face with her hands cupped together like she did when she observed classes in the doorway or corner trying not to distract anyone.

You were met at the bottom of the staircase with sympathetic expressions on each of the girls, even Madison who wasnt the type to show such emotion. Misty came from around the corner running up to you bringing you into a comforting hug. "What are you doing here?" The blonde pulled away wiping tears from her face. "I came to see how you were holding up." Holding up? "What do you mean? I'm fine.' Everyone looked at eachother with concern just as you did to them. "Y/N you dont have to pretend we understand." Zoe rubbed your shoulder but you jerked away. Pretend? "What joke are you try to play?"

There goes the confused looks everyone exchanged, even Myrtle. With that, you ran back upstairs not looking to see the same concered look plastered across every one of them.

Bursting into Cordelia's office she sat there working on whatever. "What the hell is wrong with them?" The woman looked up from her desk back at you with a look that you couldn't tell what emotion it was- blank "What do mean sweetheart? Everything is fine, all is normal y/n." She placed her hands on your shoulders looking you in the eye, but your gaze was somewhere else, not in reality as if this was all in your head and nothing was real.

••play song above (if you want)••

"Dance with me." Cordelia brought you out of your head, walking over to the record player you bought her for her first birthday you were together for. She placed the vinyl that played the song that the two of you slow danced to on your first formal date aside from the late night cake date in the greenhouse only a year ago which placed on the balcony late at night sharing eachothers warmth under the moon's chilly breath.

You both gave the other a warm smile before pulling eachother close. "From when I knew I made the right decision." Cordelia whispered in your ear referring to that night on the balcony. You lifted your head from her neck to settle your eyes on hers. You noticed how her color was back, she didnt look any shade of grey, the bones in her facial structure were less prominent her eyes had a sense of serenity in them. All her pain seemed to be gone. "You're better." Cordelias smile peaked through. "I'm at peace now." She closed her eyes for a brief moment taking a deep breath.

Her glow from the morning was still shining but it seemed a bit brighter now. "I need you to promise me something." Cordelia let out the breath, and conjoined your hands in hers. "When I'm gone, you are born." She paused looking for any sign of emotion or sadness from you. "And when that time comes, I will be right there. I need you to remember to breathe when you feel like walls are closing in on you. Remember to find someone that can be what you are to me."

Tears fell down your cheeks with each blink of an eye. "We will meet again. I promise you." You nodded slightly too afraid to move. Your brain couldn't register a life without Cordelia by your side or helping you through your rough patches. She was the one person who loved you, the one who put up with you during your storms, the one who saved you. Cordelia cupped your face with her hands that seemed to be colder then earlier"Now you have to promise me, that whatever happens, you will not give up." Her eyes now drowning in her own hurt.

"I love you y/n."
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A quiet knock on the door, It was Myrtle on the other side. The woman opened up into the office to see you in a corner with your knees brought to your chest with your hands covering your ears whispering "I love yous" to the air.

The curtains weren't drawn back, no lights were on or beaming through any windows of the office.

Just you. Holding Cordelias promise ring in the dark crying, rocking back and forth against the wall.

Myrtle rushed towards you holding you against her, just like how your Delia would.

It was now, she realized your body knew something your mind didnt.
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