Catherine, But With A Twist (Super Duper Edition)

After a moment of slowly awakening from his slumber in relief to still be alive after a horrific nightmare, a man in his thirties sighed with a palm at his ebony black hair. He did not think any nightmare would be as traumatizing as the one he had. But more importantly, he hoped to Heaven that he did not urinate on a brand new mattress he bought with a fraction of his savings. Slowly turning his head to the left, he witnessed a very brief sight of another person right next to him. Rather astonished, he jolted himself even more awake and fully alert. His frantic jolt caused the other individual to slowly wake up with a soft groan, along with two lip smacks.

"Top of the morning, sweetheart." The man's jaw dropped in disbelief. His gut weakened heavily as his pure skin shed an unbearable amount of sweat. He began to whimper fearfully, frozen still in place. "Oh my god! Did I startle you? I am so sorry! I'm not making a great first impression, am I? It's not the first time, I tell you! Anyway, I hope you slept well, my half-nude hunk."

The one the man wearing nothing but a pair of white boxers with pink polka dots woke up next to was no other than Wade Wilson, otherwise known as Deadpool, otherwise known as "The Merc with a Mouth". He was simply lying next to him in the red and black suit that covered up his whole body, including the mask with two white eyes he can see his apparent new lover through.

"Did we hook up?!" the black-haired bloke asked unstably.

"Maybe," Deadpool replied, sitting up and softly placing his hand on his cheek. He then moved over and clasped onto him, holding him down into place. "Just kidding! We fucked harder than the bitch slap Colossus gave me. I bet you're wondering where the other forty-nine shades of grey went." Listening to another hoarse snivel, he continued to run his mouth sweetly in a carefree manner, "Aww, you're so cute when you freak out. Last night was so worth it, wasn't it?"

"Oh man. This is not good." the American human muttered, unable to escape the Canadian mutate's grasp whilst thinking of his significant other, along with how she would react to him stooping so low. "This is not good." Before he could say anything else, the masked figure calmly shushed him, placing his index finger to his bared teeth.

"Don't worry, babe. I used protection. I understand that you might not be ready to have a kid yet, even though you can't really tell if I'm a green alien with beady black eyes or not since I'm still in my suit." Deadpool's apparent babe found it quite odd that he would talk in such a way of words with such wit after hooking up with someone. "I'm terribly sorry that we didn't get to properly greet each other before our special moment together. I was too busy killing people at that time." The mentioning of taking lives shook the half-naked cheater. "What's your name, honeybuns?"

"V-Vincent." Vincent's heart was pounding unbearably. Not only did he feel like he lost track of his morality, but he seemed to put himself in danger by waking up next to a mercenary.

"Pleasure to meet you, V-Vincent," The way the mutated merc mocked his dearest mate's stuttering added a hint of irritation to his fear. "I bet you dreamt a little dream of me last night." To Vincent, that is one sly form of sarcasm. "Was it sweet? I bet my fine buns it was." The expansion of the sarcasm was just what he "needed". The merc continued to talk to him seductively, placing one gloved hand on his cheek and running the fingers on his other hand through his hair. "My stars, you're such a handsome specimen. The look in those beautiful eyes of yours tell me that our lovemaking was as special as Blind Al's chocolate chip cookies." He then asked, "Wanna know who the fuck I am, my knight in no shining armour at all?"

"Ummm...okay." Poor Vincent Brooks was so uncomfortable, yet he began to consider his new bachelor to be a nuisance.

"I may look like an insane superhero in a red suit, but probably unlike a certain Spider-dork, I am no hero. Well, at least I can shoot my webs just fine." He then lightly placed his finger under Vincent's chin. "You know that now, right?"