All My Cards are Here - Marauders+Wolfstar+Jily

Chapter 9: something i cant believe

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No one talked the entire ride home. It was a tense silence that seemed to suffocate any sound, only the radio playing pop music lightly through the speakers, its upbeat lyrics contrasting the strained mood of the passengers.

They arrived at Remus' street first and as they pulled up, Sirius started to unbuckle his seat belt. James gave him a strange look.

"Hey, Sirius," Peter said cautiously, "This isn't your flat."

"I know," Sirius said numbly.

Remus acted like this had been the plan all along. "Thanks for the ride, James," Remus said and walked out of the car, expecting Sirius to follow, which he did silently.

When they got inside, Sirius just sat on Remus' bed staring out at nothing. Remus took his clear liquor out of the cabinet and poured two shots. He walked over and handed one to Sirius, who took it straight and then handed back the empty shot glass. Remus downed his quick, set the glasses on the counter, and sat down next to him on the bed.

Remus took out his pack of cigarettes, lit one and handed it to Sirius, before lighting one up for himself. Remus took a long drag, "Wanna talk about it?"

"Not really." Sirius had disappeared into his head. Remus knew what those places were like, both comforting and terrifying.

"Okay," he responded. Remus let the silence fall. He wasn't going to pull Sirius out of it until he was ready.

But Remus was in his own home and needed something to do with his hands so he grabbed his guitar and started strumming.

"You should really buy a new one," Sirius murmured.

"I've been thinking about it. But I don't know... I like that it's a little broken." The guitar was more than a little broken. It had duct-taped edges and several of the tuning keys were too stiff.

"That's very Remus of you," Sirius said. "You like broken things."

Sirius was looking at him and Remus saw the implication and people . "Yeah, that's true," Remus said. He kept his eyes on Sirius'. "I think they deserve second chances."

Sirius broke eye contact with him and took a drag of his cigarette. Remus went back to strumming, his mind forming the beginnings of a song. He started singing it softly aloud.

You're tired now, lie down

I'll be waitin' to give you the good news

It might take patience

Sirius listened silently. His eyes were closed as if trying to take in the fullness of the music.

And when you wake up, it won't be over

So don't you give up

Remus didn't know where the lyrics were coming from but it wasn't unsurprising. Remus always processed things through music. This was no different.

We've got the time to take the world

And make it better than it ever was

That's what they'll say about us

Sirius had opened his eyes and was staring vulnerable at Remus. "Did you just write that now?" he asked.

"Yeah," Remus said quietly.

"Christ Moony," Sirius responded. "You always make things so..." He fell back onto the bed and covered his eyes with his arm.

Remus laid down next to him. "So what?"