Irondad and Spiderson One-shots (Mainly Fluff and Funny Stories)

Child Safety Tether

Peter was getting kind of annoyed but it beats being put in time out again. Tony was not kidding. Peter was in time out for almost an hour. And the lecture he got from Aunt May when he got home since "Mr. Stark was a cold hearted snitch"

The pair walked into a store right across the street from this dark alley.

"Alright, I want to get a dress for Pepper here. I know she loves this boutique. I know you will be very bored here and I would let you go get a churro or something but you lost that privilege last week."

"Please Mr. Stark. I promise that I will be right at that bench with a churro when you leave the store with the dress. Please don't make me go in there." Tony sighed at the young boy who was pretty much begging him.

"You better be there Peter Parker. Go get a churro and sit your ass right on that bench. It shouldn't be more than ten minutes since I ordered that dress about a month ago. If I find out that you moved I will kick your ass and ground you."

"You don't mean that do you?" Peter was kind of scared since Tony does not usually say empty threats. And Tony could pack a punch. Especially in the Iron Man suit. Nonetheless, Peter nodded his head and went to go get the churro. He sat down on the bench right as he got the churro.

Just as Peter was about to take a bite of the churro, he heard a scream coming from the alleyway. Peter dropped his churro and went into the other alley once he saw nobody looking at him. He pulled his mask on and ran out across the street to go save whoever screamed.

Peter saw a woman who was at gunpoint by this mugger.

"Hey! I don't think that's how you get somebody's number. Try being nice. Might work once you get out of jail." Peter of course pulled some of his one liners as he webbed up the mugger before he could harm the woman even more. He made sure the woman was ok and he led her out of the alley.

When Peter got out of the alley, he saw something that would have made him run if it weren't for the woman he was helping walk. Iron Man in his suit with his arms crossed. He brought the woman over to the man she said was her husband.

After making sure that she was ok, Peter was grabbed by his arms and all of a sudden flying. Peter prayed that Tony wouldn't drop him just out of spite. When Peter saw the tower in view, he got scared. Tony was going to kill him.

"In the corner." Was all Tony said when they got into the Tower. He stepped out of his metal suit and pointed to Peter's time out corner. Peter grumbled as he sat down in the chair that faced the corner.

After an hour and fifteen minutes later, Tony spun Peter's chair around.

"So, want to explain to me why the fuck you did that. Again?" Tony asked in a deathly calm voice that would probably make Nat scared.

"I heard a scream from the alley and I had to help whoever was in danger."

"And you had your mask on, correct? That's a rhetorical question, don't nod your head. With that being said, all you had to do was say hey Karen, tell Tony that I am fighting some quick crime. Don't worry. I don't want you to get any more grey hairs! I would have been fine with it if you had just told me."

"I'm sorry Mr. Stark."

"Yeah you will be. You're grounded until Wednesday."

"But it's Thursday!"

3.

Peter and Tony were walking in Central Park on a warm summer day. They decided to just spend the day walking around and hanging out. School had just ended and the pair really hadn't had the most time to spend with each other since Peter had his final exams and such.

As the pair were walking, they saw a stand that was selling cheese burgers. Tony and Peter decided that they were hungry. As Tony was going to order for the both of them, he told Peter to pick out a table nearby. So that is what Peter did.

As Peter was sitting at the table waiting for Tony, he saw that they were near a dog park. Peter being the dog loving fifteen year old he is, he shot up and ran over to see if any owners would let him pet their dogs. Luckily, they did.

So as Peter was petting and playing with the dogs without a care in the world, Tony was marching over with his phone in his hand. With May's permission, Tony put a tracker in Peter's phone that would link to Pepper's, May's, Tony's, Nat's, and even Gamora's phones. Gamora for when she was on earth. She had gotten very close with her "favourite Peter".

Once Peter was done, he remembered that he was supposed to be at the table. He looked over to the table to see if anyone was there but as he was looking, he saw Tony at the fence of the mini park with the dad look of disappointment. Peter got up after thanking all of the owners and walked over to Tony with a look of shame on his face.

"Peter, I am going to put a fucking leash on you."

"I'm not a dog."

"Parents also put them on their five year old children that like to run away from their parents." 

The One Time He Finally Learns (Maybe)

Tony and Peter got out of the car waiting for the rest of the Avengers to come. They were all going to Disneyland and they collectively agreed to go by car. The thing was, a civil war would break out if you put all of them into a car together. So they all split up. Bruce, Natasha, and T'Challa in a car together. Shuri, Bucky, and Steve in another car. Clint, Sam, Wanda, and Vision, in another and then lastly Peter and Tony in a car together. Thor and Loki could not make it.

Once everyone was here, Peter and Shuri tried to run off. Sadly they were caught by Bucky and Steve. They were carried back over to their guardians. They both had something behind their backs. When Tony and T'Challa pulled what was behind their backs, the two children groaned. In their hands were "child safety tethers" curiosity of Cam from Modern Family.

"Shuri runs off too?" Tony asked T'Challa.

"Yes. I think it might just be a teenage thing. Is this because of one of your vine things?" T'Challa asked the two sulking teenagers.

"No. Sitting is just boring. And who wants to listen to you anyways. So when you tell me to stay like a dog, I will run like a freaking cheetah." Shuri said in defeat as T'Challa and Tony forced them into their leashes. Peter had a Spider- Man one and Shuri was in a Black Panther one.

"Well there goes my ego." Peter grumbled as they walked into the entrance of the park.

After some time, Peter and Shuri got used to the leashes. Of course Sam, Bucky, and Clint would not let them hear the end of it but at one point Natasha and Steve threw them all into a fountain. Of course they almost got kicked out but hey, who cares.

It was about one in the afternoon and the two teens were getting impatient with how slow everyone else was going. They were talking about how they were going to prank the shit out of them after this was over. As they were talking though, they saw their idols, Mulan and Merida. The two of them looked at each other and ran to see them. But of course, the stupid leashes wouldn't let them go far and the two of them almost fell on their butts. The pair turned around when they heard someone laughing their ass off.

"Oh my gods. My dog behaves better than this." Clint was on the ground dieing. Natasha grabbed him by the ear. That was the last time anyone ever heard from Clint Barton.