Cadaverous Love

Chapter Thirty-Six

I nod, and my mind is so full of thoughts that it feels blank. Like a paper written on so much that the words bleed together and form a clean slate once more. "I-I don't know where to go."

"First place to come to mind."

"I don't know..." I search my mind over and over like a hard book to read.

"Just choose."

I think of a place of comfort, "the library?"

"Okay," he breathes out, "we'll go to the library." He turns slightly towards the house, "I'll go get our jackets and we'll leave. That sound just 'bout right, doll?" I nod and rub my arms, trying so desperately to hold myself together. He hops back up onto the porch and pushes the door open.

"What's happened, Dally?" Someone asks.

"Just leave it alone."

"Hey, don't act like we don't have the right to know."

"Wasn't actin' like that, you'll know when you know, but for now, just leave it alone." He disappears into the house and Two-Bit stands in the doorway. He waves hello but it feels like a wave goodbye.

I wave back and Dallas returns with his jacket on and mine in his hand.

"Where ya guys goin'?" Two asks.

"Forget about it," Dallas responds, handing me my dark rain jacket. I pull it on over my sweater. "We'll be back later."

"Okay, bye ya guys." Two-Bit's voice is soft, yet still laced with his humor that is woven into his identity.

"Bye," I wave once more and despite the sadness churning in my stomach, I smile.

--

As we step into the smallish library, a warm breeze kisses my cheeks and the tip of my nose. The smell of old books sits in the air like old perfume.

I slip my pinky around Dallas's. I used to always think that it was stupid when I saw a couple do this. Why not just hold hands? But I've realized that they are pinky promising something. They are promising to love the other for the rest of eternity no matter what. And oh, I promise. And as Dallas squeezes my finger back and lets our hands drop to our sides, I'd like to think he promises too.

"I don't know where to go, princess, so you lead the way." Dal says, letting me step in front of him. My feet fall on the soft wood floor as we pass small aisles of shelves with books pressed against one another tightly, their bindings hardly holding on. I let out a long breath and sit down at a dark wooden table pressed under a small, grimy window, light barely getting through.

Dallas sits down heavily next to me and lays his head down on the table, facing me. His eyes search mine for something to say, and when he cannot find anything, he folds his arms around his head, creating a small barrier from the light and quiet sound of pages turning and pencils tapping.

I look down at the splintering wood and try to keep my pieces from falling apart, but I've never had sufficient glue.

A peevish voice fills the air suddenly, startling me. "This is funny, I didn't know greasers were big time fans of libraries." Dallas and I look up to see a boy about my age, wearing a ski jacket and a blue sweater. He stands with two other guys the same age.

Dallas gets up quickly, "nah, nah, but what is funny is that you'd keep your prissy little mouth shut if your boyfriends weren't here." He gestures to the two other guys.

"Would you like to go outside and see what me and my boyfriends can do to you?" He threatens stupidly.

"Ya won't even have the chance, asshole," Dallas returns the threat and starts to move towards them. I stand up and grab the back pocket of Dallas's jeans, stopping him.