A collection of small poems (Lo fi beats and rain in the background)

Time to grow

Sometimes you think "Oh, so this is what it's like to grow up." And you experience the stress and tension and the heartache of loss and grief and fear and all of those Grey emotions swirling and crashing over

Take a deep breath

And I mean

Take It.

It is Yours.
Have it. USE it. Force tense muscles to clench and then relax. Adulthood is not the absence of joy. You forget the grief of childhood because time smoothed over the sharp hurting stones. All of life has moments you will inevitably forget.

Do not fret, remembering is not the important part. For aren't we all a sum of every moment? Time exists now but the impermanence can cause your stomach to twist.

Now

Take that breath again.

You are the important part. Feel joy now Because you won't remember every joke cracked by your then-best-friend. Not in a bad way, but in an unexpectant way.

Do not assume you will have those moments forever. If you assume you will forget, what if you didn't fight, and instead, relaxed?

Sure you'll forget the pain, but forgetting the joy is the best trick God has ever played.
The Stockholm syndrome of being forced captive in your own mind will have you thanking those jokes that rattle around in your brain from a soggy July night, grateful for Something to relive.

That watered down joy, the dilute exuberance. All of that makes room for new feelings and floods.

You are the important part, and so is the present. (But not in the way that I thought)

Adulthood feels like childhood, but in a squirming way that I can't pin down. Maybe because I thought I'd be a different person at the end of it all.

I haven't transformed much externally, and I still feel all the sorrow and elation of yesterday, without the memories to define the hurt and hope. But, I'd like to think that the phrase "growing up" isn't total shit.

So this, is adulthood