Peter by day, Pan by night

Chapter 16

         A smile plays across my lips, my first one all morning.  

         I don't know him very well, but he used to be louder. Now he seems shy. Can one night really change him that much?

         "Wendy? Why are you alone?" He taps his fingers on his knee. And then I remember one more thing about him.

         He has music.

         A song is always playing inside him. I've never heard him sing, but he is constantly drumming his fingers or tapping his foot. Or humming when he thinks no one can hear him.

         "You are the youngest, right?" I sit up and push my curls away from my face.

         "Yes."

         "How old are you?"

         Jacob looks down. He winds a blade of grass around his finger. "Eight."

         "Eight." Was he one of the hooded figures? Did he carry one of the weapons? Eight is too young for this.

        Jacob yanks the grass up and tears it. "Why do you want to be alone?"

        Ah, the question I ignored. I fumble with my words, not sure what to share and what to hide. "I'm...I'm just really sad right now." I gulp and wipe my hands on my dress.

         The blue roses peer up at me. I want to rip them all out, just to hurt the boy who hurt me.

         But nothing will be able to hurt Peter Pan. He is untouchable.

         No, he isn't.

         Glass and blood. Brokenness. If this is really his game, then why is he losing?

         "Everyone's sad." Jacob holds up his hand and blows. The tiny pieces of grass flutter in the wind. "Every day it gets harder to pretend."

         "Pretend?" I catch one of the spinning pieces of grass and tuck it into my pocket along with Daine's star.

         "Pretend that the night doesn't happen. Pretend that there is no curse, no darkness."

        Silence moves between us. I don't know what to say. I can't fix this. I look at Jacob. He's wise for an eight year old.

         Of course, he has probably been eight longer than I have been alive. And now I belong to Neverland too. Does that mean I will be stuck here forever? What if I never turn seventeen? Or eighteen? What if I never grow up?

         I know it's unrealistic, but I always dreamed that I too would find love. But now, I may never marry, never have children or grandchildren.

         It is sad, but also exciting. Each day in our world leads you closer to death. But without time, you can live forever. I look around the beautiful meadow. Day in Neverland is beautiful. I wouldn't mind it, if it wasn't for the darkness that comes.

         This cannot be my future. I will rather live one life then linger in only one moment.

         "Do you know what this is?" Jacob's words pull me from my thoughts. He holds out a small object. It is brown and familiar. Sunlight glints off the smooth surface.

         "It is a lie." I look away.

         Jacob turns the acorn around. "No, it is the beginning."

         "What are you talking about? It's an acorn, it's nothing." Surely he cannot know what it means to me. Even Peter Pan has probably forgotten it by already.

         "This is all Peter Pan had when he first came to Neverland. He wasn't given this island, he had to earn it. He fought off the evil pirates, he restored the balance. Somewhere along the way, he became more than the first lost boy. He became more than just brave. He became a leader, a legend. He became magic."

         "Don't you mean, he became magical?"

         "Anyone can be magical, but Peter Pan and this island became the center of all magic. This acorn might be worthless, but it isn't meaningless. It represents who Peter Pan was before he came here. It is his last piece of the life he left behind forever." Jacob closes his fingers over the acorn.

         I blush. "And he gave it to me." What does it mean? Why would Peter give it to me?

         "Hello."        

        I blink slowly. Now he shows up. Did he hear our conversation? Heat creeps up my neck. He told me before, he can hear every thought about him.

         Anger pulses under my skin.

         That's not fair.

         Jacob stands up. "I think I'll leave now."

         "No! Stay." I grab his hand.

         The boy smiles at me. "You both need to talk." He presses the acorn into my palm and flies away.

         Leaving me alone with Peter Pan.