Other Worlds - The Wilds

Chapter 24

  "Nobody will know. That exchange said absolutely nothing about what has happened between us recently."

  "Toni, you held my hand. That says something."

  Toni lowered her voice slightly, noticing that one of the old lady's sitting nearby had started to eavesdrop. Pensioners, such a nosey lot. "I do that with all of my friends. Just because I touch someone does not mean I'm in love with them." Fuck, stupid choice of words... hopefully she didn't read into that. She quickly carried on, "Look, unless I fully make out with you, no one is going to know. Everyone thinks we hate each other."

  Shelby played with her fingers for a while, deep in thought before answering, "What is this to you..." She cleared her throat, "...Like, is that on the table?"

  "Is what on the table?"

  Shelby whispered her reply so quietly that Toni actually thought that she was miming it; like when you're stressed out in charades and just end up mouthing the words.

  "Shelby I can't read lips."

  The other girl sighed audibly and then spoke... inaudibly.

  Just as Toni cocked her head in an attempt to harness some of the lip-reading skills she gained from her years of having to watch movies on mute due to terrible foster parents, Shelby blurted, "Making out!"

  Toni tried not to cringe as she borderline shouted the words. Shelby looked utterly horrified, Toni had to jump in. "Exactly! Making out is just one of the many ways STDs can spread." The cafe-goers that Shelby's outburst had drawn the attention of returned to their lattes.

  "I don't know if I should thank you or be mortified about the narrative you just created for me. Could you not have come up with something related to what we're studying?" Shelby was beet red.

  "No, I simply do not know enough about physics to find a place for the words 'making out'. Besides, they don't know that. As far as they're concerned we could be studying biology." She paused for a second, thinking of the right way to answer Shelby's initial question. "And I don't know. It depends on what you think this is or... what you're comfortable with. I didn't know that was something you wanted. Until now I thought you were angling for friends."

  "I don't know if we can be friends."

  As much as Toni wanted to take that information and ride off into the sunset, or her twin bed, with Shelby, something held her back. Shelby had only just admitted her feelings yesterday alongside a nervous breakdown and internal debate on whether to admit herself to conversion therapy. Toni clenched her jaw, not sure what to say.

  Shelby noticed Toni's internal dilemma. "I can physically hear the cogs in your head turning. What is it?"

  "I just," she sighed, "I think we have to be. Friends, I mean. At least for now. I don't want to be less than that but if we have to then we will. You are going through so much right now and you have so much to figure out. Combined with the rough start... and middle that we had to our relationship, or whatever this is, I just don't want us to be..." Toni trailed off. Not sure it was the right choice of words.

  "Be what?" Shelby questioned, her eyebrows pulled together.

  Toni decided to bite the bullet. "Toxic. I don't want us to be toxic."

  Toni held her breath, expecting Shelby to storm out, or get angry or upset. None of that happened though. Instead, Shelby's face softened. "You're right."

  "I am?" Toni audibly let out her breath.

  "Yeah. We can be friends. I don't want to go back to being less either."