Eboys Oneshots

Look Who's Inside Again (A.E x G.A)

If Alex even had words to explain his current emotional state, if he even felt motivated to try and explain, he'd explain it as a murky grey liquid replacing his blood. A dark fog drifting above it, the sky in an eternal twilight. The fluid in his skull mimicking the hopelessness, constantly reminding him 'what was the point?'.

If his emotions remained in tact, he would have laughed, because the reason this suddenly loss of what little mental health he had was caused by the constant of time ticking forward, without his control. Now all he was doing was wasting it.

He was officially two days into his breakdown, and usually when in a state like this, he forgot all the details. Forgot he existed, forgot the world still spun. He felt more like a robot, repeating few basic commands he had to repeat to survive, and robots didn't need to think. Somehow he could still remember the night the breaking point occurred, though he assumed I'm the next days he'd forget, he couldn't quite remember what set him off but he could remember the frantic texts to Fraser.

Fraser trying to comfort him with a sort of logic but Fraser couldn't fight the truth in Alex's downward spiral.

Time was moving forward. Alex couldn't stop it. Alex couldn't remember his childhood and it was over, it was just gone and he couldn't get it back.

Fraser had offered that the feeling, the fear, that was only temporary but that only made Alex fall deeper. He didn't want logic, he wanted comfort. He'd read somewhere that when men where faced with emotional problems they offered logic, when women were the ones craving comfort, allowing themselves to sit in a moment of insanity, knowing they were loved.

He was such a girl.

But he wasn't there, he was here. Time moved on, it always did.

"Alex?"

Alex sluggishly turned his head to look at George, who was analyzing him in a sort of concern. He doubted it was real, just a show, of course George had to be concerned. You weren't meant to let your friends crumble, so you just pretended to care.

"Do you wanna go out?" George asked, taking timid steps closer, "Just us."

Alex hummed softly, that sounded nice. A distraction, where he didn't have to try too hard, he and George were far too domestic at this point for their interactions to be as socially draining as communicating with anyone else.

"Where," Alex croaked out, his voice struggling to work after almost two days of doing nothing but crying.

"Just the pub," George shrugged, "Same place as last time. You've still got the menu on your phone, I reckon'."
___________________________________

Being outside was strange. Somehow object permanence had been thrown out the window and he'd forgotten the world didn't exist only of his and George's two bedroom apartment.

George reached across the table, grasping his hand causing Alex to drift out of his thoughts.

"I love you, Al," George murmured obviously flustered, "I know I probably should say it more, but I really do."

Alex hoped this wasn't a confession, in this particular headspace he didn't see himself coping with any sort of romantic relationship at all. Not that he was closed off from being romantically involved with George, George was safe, he was used to George. But not right now.

"We don't have to talk about what's going on if you don't want to," George continued, "I just want you to know I'm here for you, however you want me to be. You take the reigns, yeah. We'll figure it all out on your pace."

Alex again was confused on whether George meant their relationship or Alex's current breakdown. Maybe he meant both, part of him hoped George meant both.

"I wanna have a yard," Alex confessed, words bubbling up as he thought them, "I feel so trapped all the time and I just wanna be able to go outside and be outside and alone."

"Yeah?" George pushed him to continue.

"And I wanna get a dog or a cat or something," Alex spluttered, "I-I'm so lonely all the time, George."

"You wanna move out?" George asked softly, face falling.

Alex frowned, this was the point where George got sick of him. Sick of his problems, sick of his stupid brain and told him to just pretend to be happy from now on.

"Y-yeah," Alex confirmed meekly, "I know you probably like where we are, because we're near everything but all I need is just a little yard. We don't need to be that fa-"

"We?" George laughed, eyes wide in disbelief, "Oh my god, Alex, I thought you meant you wanted to move away from me! Like move out, we stop living together."

Alex's whole body froze, whispering out a soft, "No."

Never.

"We can look for places with a yard," George murmured, nodding, "It'll be nice, yeah. We could get a garden started up."

"It's gonna be expensive," Alex added.

"You better work on that only fans then."

Alex laughed. The murky grey liquid in his veins still remained, but the fog had receded. 'What was the point' was murmured I'm his mind every eight minutes rather than three.

Alex didn't need logic, he needed George.