𝐦𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 | 𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐦 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬

"the rest of my life"

"Thanks, Adam," She quietly said.

"I wish you didn't hate me," The boy suddenly said.

"Me too."

"I'll see you later, I guess," Adam waved.

Rowan slowly joined her friends on the bus as she slumped down into a seat. She leaned her head against the cold window, watching a few raindrops hit the tinted glass. She let thoughts run wildly in her head. She missed him. God, she missed everything about him. But she couldn't shake the feeling that took over her nearly every day when she remembered seeing him with her. Rowan looked up when she felt a presence sit beside her. "You look like you need to talk," Matt noticed.

She nodded, switching her head onto his shoulder, sighing heavily. "Why do you guys have to be so difficult -- boys?"

"I would tell you if I knew. But, I think a lot of the time we know what we want, we just don't understand how to get there. And it takes a lot for us to be open about how we feel."

"He was always open about that stuff."

"Then I guess you mean a lot to him."

"He isn't the best at showing it."

"As you said, he's a boy. He's difficult. But he's gonna come around -- maybe sooner rather than later if you'd let me knock some sense into him," Matt joked.

"Oh, yeah. That's exactly what I need, for him to show up at my door, bleeding profusely again," She laughed.

"Again?"

"It's a long story," Rowan sighed.

"We've got the time."

Adam and the Ducks returned to the dorms just before the downpour started. They wasted the night watching a movie, but Adam couldn't focus. He found himself staring out into the storm on the other side of the window --raindrops blew onto them, dripping away quickly. The only time he noticed himself paying attention, was when he heard her voice from the hall. "I'm just going on a walk."

"Rowan, it's raining."

"Don't worry about me, Jenny."

Everyone in the room looked to Adam as he met their gaze. "I should go talk to her, right?" He guessed.

"Yeah," A few of them confirmed.

Adam rushed towards the door, grabbing a jacket.

"Treat her with respect!" Dwayne called out to him.

"I always do!" Adam voiced back.

"Alwa-" Dean started but was cut off by Fulton's hand over his mouth.

Rowan sat on a bench not far from the building as the rain came down on her. She didn't mind, she felt oddly comfortable sitting in complete silence, that was until a voice broke the peace. "Hey, there ladybug."

She turned around to meet his face, looking at him to continue, but it was an inviting stare, letting him know he could stay.

"What are you doing out here?" He asked, now sitting next to her on the bench.

"Just thinking," She answered.

"Do you think you could talk instead?"

"I don't know."

"How much longer are we going to keep doing this, Rowan?" Adam heavily sighed.

"Until I figure out how to forgive you."

Adam was silent for a minute, hesitating on his words. "When is that gonna be? Before or after we go back home? Before or after you break up with your boyfriend?"

"What boyfriend?" She asked, sitting up straighter as his tone became angry.

"Brady. Did you seriously think I wouldn't find out?"

"We're just friends," She defended. "You don't get it."

"You know, you're right. I don't get it," He spoke. "I don't get it because we used to say the same thing about each other."

"Used to," She repeated. "And I was never yours, remember?"

"Do you really believe that?" He asked.

Rowan stayed silent.

"Cause I don't," Adam whispered.

"You're the one who said it."

"And I've regretted it every day," He choked out. "You can't seriously sit here and tell me we had nothing."

"I don't know what to say to you anymore, Adam," She admitted.

"I shouldn't have come here tonight," He scoffed, getting up.

"No, Adam, you don't get to be mad at me after Amanda!" She shouted after him. "You were the one who told me that I didn't mean anything to you!"

She waited for a response but received nothing.

"Tell me why you care! Tell me why you care about me and Brady!"

Silence.

"Of course, you're not going to say anything! You're just gonna leave me here," She whispered, the familiar feeling of tears flooding her eyes.

He stopped walking.

"Because I love you! And not a stupid little I love you. I mean it, with every bit inside me, because I am in love with you, Rowan! So fucking in love with you! It kills me day in and day out, but I don't care. Because you are worth all the pain in the world. And Amanda...she means absolutely nothing to me. You, Rowan Pierce, are my everything. My entire world stops spinning just because of you. I'll scream it a million times, I am in love with you Rowan Willow Pierce! I always have been. Since the first time I saw you -- I just knew you were the girl I wanted to be with. I knew you were my girl when I was fucking 5 years old, everyone knew! And I can't pretend like I don't fall in love with you every day all over again because that's how much effect you have over me. Every small, little thing you do. The way you like watching the stars, the way you dance when your favorite song comes on, the way butterflies irrupt all over my skin whenever you touch me. Just you, Rowan. You are the reason I believe in true love! You are the one person who I want to be with in 30 years. Hell, I want to spend the rest of my life with you! I love you!" Adam shouted, spinning around as he walked closer to her with every word.

They were only inches apart now.  "Can you please just say something?" He whispered as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

But she couldn't find the words. So here she was, standing across from the love of her life, feeling her heart shatter and heal at the same time. She opened her mouth to speak but the sentence got stuck in her throat. They both were a crying mess, soaked from head to toe.

Only the sound of rain hitting the ground beneath them could be heard.

"I love you," He quietly told her, kissing the top of her forehead, slowly backing away.

And she was left there, standing in the pouring rain, alone.