Therapy

2

June 13, 2022
9:12 pm

If I was a hero, would you be mine? To catch me when I'm falling, or save me from real life? I know I've made a lot of mistakes, under tons of white lines. But now you got me questioning if I'm a good person or a bad one? Pointing out my flaws, and now I'm a hot mess... Because how can I even save somebody else when I can't even save myself...?

I fuck everything up and ruin all my friendships. With how I am as a person. I honestly need some saving from the monster I've become. I couldn't even stop you from slitting your wrist. I thought I was being a good friend, but I didn't think things could go had with Trinity going to a mental hospital. I'm the type of person who always plays hero. Who wants to save everyone from anything and from anyone, maybe just even themselves. But then you also realize two things.

1. You gotta learn to let go, you can't save someone who keeps refusing the help no matter how hard you try, so, you end up watching them fall

And

2. They gotta deal with it on their own, only they can fix it, not you. Only they can fix themselves, not you. They're just some things that's beyond our control.

I can't believe I fucking broke to the point that I tried to overdose and take my life away. I'm just a damn coward to change...I try to tell you what's in my mind, but it feels like you don't care, so I shrug it off and say I'm fine. When really I'm breaking, and I'm scared to admit it... But I guess I rather be sad, then open up and work through it.

So if I have to ask you one last time... If I were to catch you, would you do the same? Because if I'm being honest, I'm literally going insane... And if I was a hero, would you be mine? To catch me when I'm falling, or save me from my demons lurking by...