Irondad and Spiderson One-shots (Mainly Fluff and Funny Stories)

Stabbed

I got stabby stabbed.

I felt the stitches tear open and I gasped. I quickly got down from the rope.

"Dude what's wrong?"

"I kind of got stabbed last night and I forgot about it and I just tore my stitches open." I replied to Ned as quietly as possible.

"How do you forget about something like that!?" Ned whisper shouted.

"I don't know, ok? I just did. And I need to go to the bathroom and figure this thing out." I quickly walked to the teacher and got permission to go to the bathroom.

I quickly got to the bathroom and grabbed my first aid kit that I always kept in my backpack. I lifted my shirt up after making sure nobody else was in here and I saw that blood was starting to seep through the gauze I put on this morning. I wrapped my new gauze over the old gauze and I called it good after seeing that no blood was going to seep out. I put my shirt back down and made sure it looked ok. I ran back out and joined Ned by the ropes again. 

Soon enough, the period was almost over so the teacher had us go back to the locker room and change. I just sat in the locker room on my phone and made sure my bio homework was done since I had it next period.

The bell rang and I stood up and I had to take a second since I was starting to feel a bit woozy. Woozy? That's a funny word. I walked to my bio class and I felt like I was floating. I sat down in my seat and got out my notes.

About thirty minutes into the class I saw these black dots in my vision. Dang it. I'm going to pass out again. Better go out with a bang.

"Mr. Lee, I got stabby stabbed." I laughed and then I saw black. Again. This happens a lot more than you think. But before I lost total consciousness I heard Mr. Lee say something. 

"Why am I not surprised. I should make a comic about this boy." I like that man. 

*Time Skip*

I woke up feeling like I was being carried. I looked up and saw my worst fear. Mr. Stark with a death glare. He must have felt me look up and he looked down. He then chuckled. I'm doomed.

"Glad to see that you're awake Peter Benjamin Parker. I can't BELIEVE that you decided to not tell anyone how you got stabbed." He started but I cut him off.

"I told Ned."

"No! This is where you zip it! The adult is talking." Mr. Stark interrupted me.

"This is where Tony Stark also zips it. Bruce and I have to fix your child." Dr. Strange came out and took me out of Mr. Stark's arms and carried me to the med bay. Before I could say anything, I passed out.

*Time Skip* (My favourite thing)

I woke up to a heart monitor and Mr. Stark grumbling about some work emails. I was really thirsty so I looked to my right and saw a glass of water. I grabbed it but I guess I was too weak and I dropped it. Water spilled and Mr. Stark looked up and sighed.

"Underoos, you're worse than Morgana." He cleaned up the water and then helped me sit up and gave me some of his water.

"Alright. Let's talk. Why didn't you tell anyone that you got hurt?"

"I didn't want to be an inconvenience. I thought I could fix it." Mr. Stark sighed and sat down next to me. I moved over a bit and I leaned on him. He ran his hands through my hair.

"Pete. You're not an inconvenience and never will be. If you get stabbed again hell even a tiny paper cut. Tell me. You don't need to fix every single problem. You're just a kid still. Understand me young man?" I nodded my head.

*Time Skip About A Week*

I was finally able to go back out on patrol so I quickly grabbed my suit and put it on.

"Good day Peter. There is a new protocol added to your suit. Would you like me to read it off to you?" Karen, my A.I. greeted me.

"Sure thing Karen. Thank you."

"This protocol states that anytime you get hurt, injuries will be immediately reported to Tony Stark. This protocol has been authorized by Tony Stark." I groaned at the new protocol.

I took my suit off and hooked it up to my computer. I then looked at the coding of the protocol and figured out how to get rid of it.

I was almost done when my screen turned red and yellow and then my computer powered off.

"Contacting Tony Stark." Karen said out loud.

"Karen no!" I slammed my head on the table. I then quickly got up and hid in my closet. I covered myself with boxes. I knew what was going to happen.

Next thing I know, I hear someone walk into the apartment that I can only assume was Mr. Stark. He must have used the key that Aunt May had given him. I then heard heavy footsteps enter my room.

"Peter Benjamin Parker. Get out of the closet this instant."

"I'm gay! There happy?!"

"Peter Benjamin Parker I am not afraid to smack you."  I knew he wouldn't.

I then heard an impatient foot tap on the floor. 

"I'm about thirty seconds away from calling Nat, May, and Pepper." I'm screwed. I stayed put in hope that Mr. Stark would just give up and leave. But Parker Luck™ decided to take full effect.

"Peter, I can and will drag you out of this closet if I have to." I still stayed where I was. I then heard a sigh and my closet door opening. I hear boxes move and then all of a sudden I could see Mr. Stark's face. I smiled at him. He grabbed my foot and dragged me out.

He then pointed at my bed with a stern look that I knew not to play with. I got up and sat on my bed.

"Wanna explain to me what the hell you were doing?"

"Playing hide and seek with my imaginary friend named mental health. I can never find them though. Haven't seen them in about seven years."

"Do you want me to add another week to your grounding?"

"My what?!"

"That's right. Grounding. Aunt Hottie said I could ground you if necessary. With that being said, you are already up to one week of no Spider-Man and no chocolate milk."

"NO CHOCOLATE MILK?!?!?! THAT'S HOMOPHOBIC!" Mr. Stark sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Peter, every minor inconvenience that happens to you is not homophobic."

"Whatever, why am I grounded?"

"If you try and take a new protocol out, I get contacted and I ground you. It's a new protocol I added called "Protect The Baby Before Nat Kills Me" protocol.

I groaned and flopped back on my bed. This is going to be a long week.