Sunbroken

Chapter 27

Ezio raises his brows, still not understanding. "You were up late last night--"

"Yes, but that does not matter! Without fail, I have never been able to sleep longer than that. Now suddenly Namiko is missing, I have been out for six hours longer than I should, and we're no closer to the temple than we were yesterday! Hundreds of people could be getting killed, Ezio. My people, your people--it matters not. Our island is going to die if we don't fix this, and we have already wasted a day by somehow managing to land ourselves on a pirate ship. We're failing." I take a shuddering breath, my voice quieting. "We're failing our clans." I am failing my clan. I am supposed to protect them, and I cannot even protect Namiko.

Ezio's face hardens. "Where's Namiko?"

She's gone. Whatever memory flashed in my head--that was real. Her departure is the reason I'm not detecting enough vichya. My swimming gaze roves over our campsite, snagging on a scrap of ivory cloth set atop a fist-size rock--nearly swallowed by the fluffy grass. Ezio gets there before me, flipping the fragment between his hands.

I try to peer over his shoulder, but I'm too short. Or he's too tall. I reach around his bulky bicep and snatch the cloth from his grip. His nearness floods me with cognizance; I realize just how little a movement it would take for us to--

I read the message scribbled onto the piece of cloth. I don't breathe, my heart doesn't beat, my eyes don't see, my ears don't hear. Just the words, written in blood, blotchy and printed neatly, etching themselves into my mind.

Lady Djuna--I'm sorry.

I can't let her stay broken. You have someone to help repair you now, but Mara doesn't. Kioni doesn't understand. I gave you some dreamlock so you won't follow. You have to let me go.

What?

The scrap is pockmarked with wetness. Namiko isn't afraid to cry.

Was this because I left her with Kioni? Did she learn something that made her unable to resist leaving me?

Leaving me.

Leaving me.

Namiko...is gone.

My vision blears. Siridean's gone forever. Namiko's left me now, too. You have someone else to repair you now.

Was that all she saw me as? A project for her to fix before she moved on to the next one?

The tears are hot now, bubbling up behind my eyes and in my throat. Hold it in, he's watching.

The two people I've loved are missing pieces in my heart. Gaping holes. Empty hints, meaningless promises, heart forever torn in half.

Siridean. You're my starburst, love...I am yours til the day the stars die.

Namiko. You're broken, my lady. I will serve you to the best of my ability. I would die before I let anyone lay a hand on you.

Siridean was my welcome drizzle of honey, my lighthearted kisses, my stronghold. But Namiko has always been there. Her being gone is like having a limb ripped brutally off of me.

Someone else to repair...my focus drifts to Ezio. His copper skin in the sunlight. His teasing eyes and sloppy hair. His hulking figure, his warmth, his flowery, minty smell that's comforting me even now.

It's his fault. Namiko thought she should leave me with him. Alone, because that was the best plan of action. Because...

A whimper, a kitten-like whimper, eases out of my throat. My brain yells at me to go, to hide, but all I can think of is that Ezio is the reason Namiko's gone.

Who bleeding cares if he sees me cry. I swing for his chest, but he catches my wrist. I swing with my left hand and make contact. He's absorbing the impact with well-timed ease as my balled fists pummel into him, saltiness flowing over my cheeks, anger and confusion dictating everything.

"Your fault, your fault, your fault," I cry between punches. "You drove her away." My voice breaks. Something splinters deep down. "My fault. I want her back."

I feel like an infant. A weak, dependent infant crying for their insignificant needs. What is this compared to the welfare of the Unakai? My petty heart crying out, that's what it is. Selfish. For my clan, for Zhonlaya, fight, fight, free the spirit...

Journey far, sacrifice all...

I sway. My punches were never really meant to injure him, however desperately I wanted them to be. They're halfhearted. Soft. Weak. I'm drowning.

My next hit has me collapsed against Ezio's chest with his arms folded around me. Another whimper shatters out of my mouth, sobs wracking me like a bombardment. My breaths wheeze through my lungs, still affected by the dreamlock Namiko slipped me. Gasps come shallowly. Ezio's tunic is soaked.

I'm shaking. My hands tuck under my chin.

He strokes my hair, holding me tightly against him with his other arm. "Shh," he breathes. "Let it out. I've got you, chulrys. I've got you."

I cry until I can't anymore. Until the heat of the day has emerged but I still feel numb inside.

Ezio lets me go the moment I push away. He stands silently as I stride to Indra. He watches, ready.

Dazed. Stunned. Both of us. Something hangs in the air; something new ignited, blazing tentatively. It's heavy and light at the same time, cold and hot, passionate and gentle. I reach across the distance with my puffy eyes. Beckoning him without a word.

We mount Indra together, his elbows grazing my waist again. And then we fly.