I Know Who You Pretend I Am

Chapter One

"This has to stop, Clay."

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His best friend is on top of him. They're both sweating, both nude. It feels good, so fucking good. He wishes that this meant as much to Dream as it does to him.

He loves Dream, he really does. He has since they were kids. Dream never reciprocated those feelings, and that was okay. It was even okay that he clearly had a thing for George, he just wanted his friends to be happy.

And then one day, out of the blue, Dream kissed him. They had been watching tv, just hanging out, and Dream had grabbed him by the jaw, turned his head and kissed him. It was hot, seriously fucking hot. They made out on the couch, Dream pushing him down to lay over him while they kissed. They grinded against each other, moaning and groaning, and it was good. It was great.

It wasn't until later that night, when the giddy feeling went away, that he realized what was really going on.

Sapnap wasn't stupid. He knew that Dream didn't feel anything for him. He knew that whatever was happening here had to do with George.

That was okay. He wanted his friends to be happy, and if he could pretend that Dream loved him for a while... well, that was just an added bonus.

So every once in a while, Dream will sneak into Sapnap's room, or ambush him on the couch, or come up behind him in the kitchen.

He'll kiss and nip at his neck, whisper sweet nothings into his ear, and then fuck him like he cares.

That's where they are now. Sapnap underneath Dream, his back on his blankets while Dream pistons in and out of him. He's moaning like a whore, but is reduced to breathless whines when Dream leans down to suck hickeys onto his throat.

"Dream," he murmurs, his voice breathy and fucked out, "I'm gonna cum- fuck!"

"I'm- shit-" Dream hisses out, "I'm close too, babe. Go on and cum for me."

Sapnap does, thick ropes of jizz shooting out of his cock. His ass spasms around Dream's dick, pushing him over the edge. He releases inside of Sapnap with a groan. He eventually pulls out and flops back on the bed next to his friend. They're both panting, trying to catch their breath.

And Sapnap decides he can't do this anymore.

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They're sitting on the couch together a few days later. They just finished streaming, and Sapnap knew Dream was feeling angsty after spending the past few hours flirting with George. He isn't surprised by the hand on his face, tilting him, showing off the purple marks littering his neck. He leans away from the touch, much to Dream's surprise.

"This has to stop, Clay."

That's how Dream knows it's serious. He only calls him Clay when it's serious.

"What do you mean?"

"We can't keep fucking just 'cause you can't rail George. It's tearing me up and I can't do it anymore. I can't fucking do this. "

"I don't understand," Dream says, leaning away from Sapnap. "I thought you liked this?"

"I did. I do. But it isn't real... I love you, okay, and I know you don't love me, and that's okay, but I can't keep pretending that you love me when you fuck me. I can't keep pretending that when you kiss me, that I'm the one you want to kiss. It's fucking me up..."

"I- I do love y-"

"Don't you dare lie to me right now. Don't you fucking dare. " Sapnap is seething suddenly. He can't believe that Dream would really try to manipulate him like this.

Dream is silent for a moment. "I do love you. I do. It's not the same as what I-" he cuts himself, embarrassed to admit his feelings for George out loud. "It isn't the same as what I feel for George, but I do love you... I'm sorry that I made you feel like I didn't care about you..."

"What do you mean that it's different? I don't understand! How do you feel about me Dream? What am I to you? Because if I'm just a placeholder then this has to end now– and don't fucking lie to me because you want to keep fucking me."

Dream sighs, then goes quiet, racking his brain for the words to express what he feels.

"You're my best friend. You have always been my best friend. You mean the world to me, and I have no idea what I'd do without you. I'm- I'm obviously attracted to you. I like what we do together, kissing and having sex and flirting, it's fun and exciting and it feels good. You aren't a placeholder . I don't- I don't know how to explain it- I love you, I really love you, and- yeah, I guess I do things to you that I wish I could do with George, but I'm happy it's with you, I'd never do this with someone else- I mean- like, not with just someone random- fuck this is complicated-"

"Just spit it out already."

"I love both of you, I guess. It just feels different. When I'm with you I feel... comfortable, content, like I know you and I like you and it's easy between us because we've always been together. But when I'm with George I feel excited and- it's like, I don't know him as well, and everything feels new in a good way- I don't know. I love you both and I don't want to choose. "

Sapnap sighs and tilts his head back, taking a moment to think and process.

"Okay," he says slowly. "I want to start over. I want you to take me on dates, and go slow, and learn about the way we are as more than friends. I will not be a placeholder for George, and I will not be some fuck-buddy. And we'll figure it out. Okay?"

Dream smiles, soft and genuine. "Okay."