Blue Rabbits

Entry No. 4: Freedom

My roommate was Amor. She was a consistent A-lister and definitely a crowd-favorite both by the Management and fans. She emitted this mysterious aura that would make you want to unravel her enigma. We did not instantly click because she was a quiet person who had her own world while I was the timid one. It took months and several attempts before we finally got comfortable with each other. Her powerful charisma hid her soft heart. Her personality reminded me of my all-time favorite home-baked chocolate chip cookie by Mom, crunchy on the outside but soft and chewy on the inside.

Amor was like a big sister to me. She was protective and generous. Whenever I needed help and guidance with some things, she was always willing to lend a helping hand. Amor and I shared a secret which I accidentally found out. She was in a forbidden relationship. Forbidden because she violated the golden rule. We were not allowed to have any kind of romantic relationship while we were committed to Cherry. Even trainees had to observe this golden rule. It was a big deal so the Management stipulated it in our contracts. Amor was in a long-term relationship with a guy before she joined Cherry, and they both decided to hide their relationship instead of ending it when Amor got in the group. They kept in touch mostly through SMS and FaceTime. Yes, she had a private personal FB account too, which of course was untraceable to her. Amor had two cell phones. One was her main phone which was seen in public while the other one was a private phone which she hid from everyone except me. Her only contact on this phone was her family and her boyfriend. She always brought both phones with her. Her training bag had a hidden pocket inside where she placed her phone which was also concealed in an indistinct purse which had other paraphernalia as props. Her private phone was always turned off and she only turned it on inside our room to avoid suspicions. She made sure that she was covered in a blanket whenever she would call her boyfriend. I discovered her secret accidentally when she was sobbing in the middle of the night. I had to turn the light on and asked what happened to her. She was hesitant to tell me at first but she felt like she could not carry this dilemma alone so she confessed to me. She and her boyfriend had a fight that night because they were both having a hard time with this kind of set-up, especially that Amor was an A-lister and I knew how crazy her schedule was. They were on the verge of breaking up that night and Amor was torn whether to choose her dream or her lover. I was speechless when I heard her secret. I did not know how to react. First of all, I was shocked with the revelation. Second, I was confused about what to feel now that she told me that she violated the golden rule because that would mean either I would be her partner-in-crime which would put me at risk or I had to let go of our friendship to absolve myself. Third, I did not have any relationship to begin with so I did not know how to comfort her with her lovers' quarrel. The only words that came out of my mouth were, "It's okay, just let it out. I'm here for you," as I caressed her arms while she hugged me. After that night, we became closer. A secret can either make or break a relationship and in our case, I chose our friendship. Amor and her boyfriend somehow managed to continue their relationship amidst the hurdles and adversities.

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The next day, A-listers had their rehearsals for an upcoming international event while Tier B members had our regular Personality Development class or what we call PD, and Acting class. Aside from Voice Training, PD was my favorite class. Sir Dambi was our PD mentor and he was an interesting personality. His real name was Damascus Bill Asuncion, and he found it unappealing and too manly for his image so he shortened it to Dambi. He was in his late 40s, a loud and proud gay man and a man of class and humor. He dressed fashionably well and his magnifier was his eye glasses that would always match his outfit. He was a collector of eyewears from eye glasses to sunglasses. It was an implication of his eye for beauty and personality. He trained different people from different professions such as models, hosts, celebrities and even beauty queens. Now, he was training idols. For our PD lesson today, Sir Dambi invited a professional makeup artist and a hairstylist to teach us about the basics of and different makeup and hairstyling for different events and activities. We had our official makeup artist and hairstylist but Sir Dambi said that as performers, we should not rely solely on others to do everything for us. He also said that makeup and hairstyle were art and that we would be able to bring out our individuality by doing our own makeup and hairstyle.