Blue Rabbits

Entry No. 2: See You

In the final week, we would perform again as a team but this time, we would be scored as a team by the panel of judges and individually by our mentor. Team with the highest score from the panel would get additional 5 points in their individual scores. Individual scores from our mentor and panel of judges would then be combined with the audience's online votes from their apps to determine our ranks.

The final judgement day was nearing. I had not been at my best for the past few days because my ankle got sprained during one of our rehearsals. I was brought to the clinic and was advised by the doctor to rest for at least three days. In five days' time, it was already the final judgement day. My co-aspirants were rehearsing every day during this week to prepare for our final test. It was frustrating to see your co-aspirants in their best selves rehearsing while there I was sitting on the bench watching them as they prepare for one of the biggest fights of their lives, and as for me, I could barely stand. Seeing how frustrated I was, my mom gave me a pep talk.

"Honey, I can see the frustration in your eyes. Instead of dwelling on your injury, focus your energy on what you can control. The days when you can't dance don't equate to wasted days, isn't it? You still have your voice...and your mom with you, okay?" said Mom as she gave me her most supportive smile.

"I love you, Mom. Thank you," I said as tears were welling in my eyes.

Mom was right. I would not be able to rehearse my dance but I could still sing and work on my interaction with my fans. As the other girls were busy focusing on their performance, I focused on engaging with my fans on my social media while at the same time doing mental dance rehearsals and actual voice rehearsals. It's true when they say, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade".

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It was the final judgement day. I was satisfied with how I was able to maximize my final rehearsal week considering the circumstance I was in but I still could not shake my fears and anxiety of not doing enough. The grandiose set, production and costumes added to the pressure and stress that we were feeling. The judgement day was done in an auditorium which was like three times bigger than the usual studio that we were performing in. There were a lot of people in the audience composed of family members of the aspirants, ex-aspirants and fans. We were starting to garner fans during this phase of our journey.

Fast forward, the top 1-8 girls were chosen to debut as the A-list girls, top 9-16 as Tier B, and top 17-24 as trainees. The Top 16 were the official members. The A-list girls or the A-listers were the promotional team. They were the girls with the highest exposure as they were the members to record the first single and to appear in the music video. They were also assigned to do promotions on TV, radio, prints and events. Tier B girls were reserved members who would cover for any A-lister should the member be absent or has another engagement. Tier B girls would receive the kinds of training and workshops that A-listers would have. Because of the training, workshops and activities that the official members would be committed to, they were required to stay in a dorm arranged by MINT. The top 17-24 girls or trainees were not official members but should any one in Tier B leaves the group, a trainee could replace her and be an official member. They would receive the same kinds of trainings and workshops but in less frequency than the official members. They were also not required to stay in the dorm.

After those three roller-coaster-emotion-and-stress-filled months, I was finally an official member of the first Filipino idol girl group, Cherry. I was not only an official member but I was part of the A-list team with rank #4. That day was the pinnacle of my aspirant days and all I could think about was the day my dad gave me his blessing to pursue my dream. I could finally look back at him and say, "Thank you Dad for giving me this chance. I can finally live my dream. I owe it to you and Mom." I knew Dad was watching me from afar and I dedicated this milestone to him and Mom.