eulogy on broken strings ✯ poetry

iii. - strings of scarlet

strings of scarlet, these severed bonds long since bloodied
by open lacerations of betrayal in a girl once so naive
brought to her knees by a pretty face and confident personality
not bothering to look deeper, not knowing she'd been deceived

one letter out of place, one extra stroke of a pen on paper
and yet it was that simple mark which divided two so mismatched
perhaps I had blindly assumed she'd be like the sunshine I had known before
or maybe I knew just how different they were and felt intrigued, already attached

the incessant games we played spun me in circles, trying to decide
whether I blindly adored or despised this girl who was a blessing and yet a crime
did I want her gone or forever a chosen parasite in my life?
too late, she'd string my weak heart up and drag my screaming self back each time

too blind to see the red flags in every little thing we did
for a writer of my own caliber had stabbed out my eyes with her still-bleeding pen
the scarlet sting of my servitude replacing the once dark ink
she laughed it off and, of course, I foolishly trusted her back then

unable to see the end results with the one that I had trained with before
so the next best option was sensibly this girl I so admired
we already had been forced together by fate, or so I had assumed
I only wished to grow closer then, but now I see how that wish backfired

fluorescent classroom lighting glaring down at our spot in the back of the room
painting our nails purple and green with markers like the children we were
driven together as the only two outcasts in a sea of familiarity
older kids so intimidating, so we unconsciously decided to stick together

and yes, she was malicious, but was I truly any less at fault?
for here I am, divulging just how much I detested her presence
yet every time she chose to involve others in what once was solely ours
I left just as I desired, but only to sulk with eyes of viridescence

all that had preceded could not compare
to what would arrive at the closing of the year
somehow she who was once so quintessential in my eyes
fell from that fragile pedestal, shattered by her own spear

my secrets had been left out for anyone to obtain
and she took advantage of this achilles heel of mine
I was cruelly backstabbed and utterly humiliated
and here I began to acknowledge every previous warning sign

one being the fact I was ostracized from her clique
simply for having an opinion and a voice
and when they dismissed me, I gladly departed
so she pretended I wasn't extant, making the petty choice

and I'd love to say that she greatly underestimated me
but her estimate hit the target precisely, without a doubt
for even now, she sends me back to a time long ago
when I was her little servant, too pusillanimous to call her out

the strings of scarlet have long since converted to dark ash, fueled by our fire
but still are tainted by the flagitious scarlet ink, flowing from the pen of a liar