𝐈𝐟 𝐈 𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐊𝐧𝐞𝐰 || 𝐂. 𝐄𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐬

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟒: 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧

I nod, and smile at her. "Am, I didn't realize what date it is today..." Robert silently says, looking at the date on his phone. I know what date it is today, it's one year ago that my mom passed away. I'm going to the hospital to see Richard tonight as well, I just want to see him today. "Please just act like it's not, I don't feel like thinking about it" I say with a small smile. I notice Chris looking at me, he has no idea! But that's okay, he couldn't even know. "Are you sure? We can go if you want us to" Robert adds, but I shake my head immediately. "Please stay" I silently reply, so they all stay and try to cheer me up. I'm so thankful for my friends, they're the best. This morning, Callie and Derek stepped by to give me a hug. They're great, just like this friend group.

The last time I saw Chris at Lizzie's place, I noticed some kind of spark running through my body. I don't know what it meant, but I do know that I'm curious about him. Derek has a girlfriend now, by the way. He immediately got together with that girl, Meredith. It makes me feel less bad about that spark I felt with Chris! I don't even know him, but sometimes you just feel.

We all have dinner together, and talk about all exciting and happy things instead of what day it is today. Robert, Scarlett, Sebastian and Lizzie go into the pool, while Chris and I clean the table after I told all of them not to help me. "You can go for a swim, I'll clean up" I say with a smile while I grab the places out of Chris' hands. "No no, I'll help you instead" he replies, taking the plates back.

"Its okay, I got this. Go have fun! I reply, taking the plates from him again. "I'm helping you" he adds, trying not to smile. He grabs the plates again, and walks into my house. I softly laugh, grab a few things myself and walk with him. "Where's the kitchen?" he asks with a smile on his face. "Follow me!" I reply, and I take him to the kitchen.

"I'll put them in the dishwasher, you can really go swim" I say with a smile. "I'm good, thanks" he replies, making me giggle. "Why don't you want to go have fun?" I ask, putting all of the dishes in the dishwasher. "Because I think guests should help" Chris tells. I slowly turn around, and look into his eyes. I give him a small smile, and close the dishwasher behind me. "It's fine, I'm done anyway!" I reply, and I take him to the backyard again. Everyone is swimming, talking and having fun!

After a few more hours, they all leave. I get ready to go, and arrive at the hospital to see Richard for a moment.

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@robertdowneyjr: my favorite friend to take selfies with... I must say that this is the best one yet!

tagged: @ameliablake

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@username1: who is that

@usernamey: aw I missed Amelia

@imsebastianstan: we had so much fun! 🥳

@chrisevans: definitely the best one...

@usernameq: 😍😍😍

@elizabetholsenofficial: missing you guys already😝

@tomholland2013: mom and dad🥰

@username7: how cute is she

@usernamea: why isn't she famous😭

@usernamep: damnnn

@scarlettjohansson: love you guys❤️

@drderekshepherd: 💘

@callietorress: beautiful😂❤️

@ameliablake: oh well...😂🥰

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I went to see Richard, and get back to my car after. Richard was a mess, which is perfectly normal! I asked him if I could help them out, but he told me no because of my time off. Also, I met this Meredith girl. She's nice, I hope they're happy! I step into my car, and start crying like an idiot.

I miss my mom so much... I could talk to her about anything, but now I can't anymore. Ofcourse, I have the best friends in the world! But I don't feel comfortable talking about my mother with anyone, even though I really want to. I don't like being sad, so I just try not to be! I did it, I wasn't showing emotions today, until now. But that's fine, I'm alone in my car in the middle of the night. I cry all the way home, and park my car when I finally get there.