I.L.Y.

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The next couple of weeks are like heaven. The other shoe doesn't drop - Chezem doesn't show any signs of losing interest in me. In fact, it has only gotten better. We are both shy about telling everyone about us, but the stolen kisses in dark hallways, and the secret cuddles in the library late at night have my head spinning. Could like be any more perfect? How Asaka had ever managed to leave is beyond me.

I haven't told her my plans to stay simply because I've barely seen her. She is always running around, making plans, going to dress fittings, and keeping her relationship with Jun a priority. I have plans to tell her today, when she joins me for my maid of honor dress fitting.

I am outside on a warm day, walking the grounds alone. I've been working with all the princes endlessly to get them ready for our dance number. I think they are ready, but only time will tell. The wedding is only a few days away, and I can't help but feel nervous and excited. Once they are wed, Asaka will have to go through her own coronation and then she will be Queen. My best friend will be a Queen.

I find myself at a beautiful white pavilion, surrounded by hundreds of flowers. I smile and step inside, twirling. It's so peaceful here. In the pavilion, my only company the flowers and the breeze, I dance. I twirl around, dancing to the beat of my own heart. I know, in this moment, that I can never leave. To do so would be suicide, because I simply could not survive without my heart. This place was home. My family - the horrible and wonderful princes, my best friend and sister, and the man with the golden eyes.

I love him.

How had this happened? How had I let myself get to this point? I leap and twist, heart beating faster. Somewhere between the gentle touches and passionate kisses, he had stolen my heart. No, that isn't quite right. I have given it to him willingly.

I love him.

That night from five years ago seems farther away than it ever had before. All thanks to the men within the palace walls. Everyone is wonderful, even as they are awful. Melchiorre continues to click his tongue before he touches me and, though I have said nothing to the others, they each have taken his lead. Countless clicks echo through the halls, and I smile to myself. All but Chezem. I do not fear his touch - I welcome it.

I love him.

I come to a stop in the middle of the pavilion, heart hammering wildly, breath coming in gasps. It has been too long since I have danced for me. Just another this he stole from me, but I am stealing it back. I have let the memory of him rule over me for far too long. Over the past weeks, I have pushed the memory back and out of my mind, replacing it with that day at the beach.

I love him.

How to tell him? I want it to be perfect, just right, but I am also scared. What if I say it but he does not say it back? He holds every piece of my heart in his hands. A twig snapping brings me back to the present, and I whirl around, my heart slowing when I see Chezem smiling sheepishly.

"I wasn't trying to spy," he says quickly. "Ivan said you walked this way, and I was coming to find you, but then you were dancing and it was so beautiful, I didn't want to interrupt."

I blush. So he had seen me dance? He had seen me pouring my heart and soul into a dance with no music. He entered the pavilion, his arm snaking around my waist as if it were as natural as breathing. "I just wanted to go for a walk," I say. "Explore some."

Chezem smiles. "Yes," he says. "This pavilion...it is special to me." He just holds me for a long minute, resting his chin atop my head. "It was built for my mother."

I let out a breath. "Oh," I say. "It's beautiful." I don't know much about his mother and he does not supply anything more about her. I don't push.

"Yes, it is," he says, turning me to face him. My breath catches and I feel my heart beat painfully. I wonder if he can hear it.

I love you.

The words are stuck in my throat and I can't speak them. Not now, not yet. I stretch up on my toes and kiss him instead. He takes my face in his hands and deepens the kiss, making me shiver. My fingers curl into the front of his shirt and he slides his hands down to my hips, pulling me flush against him. I pull back slightly and he lets me, resting his forehead against mine.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" he asks softly. "We don't have to do anything. Just...stay with me?" His golden eyes are so sincere.

My heart stops beating. I feel like I can't breathe for just a moment. And then I remind myself who I am with and where I am, and everything calms. "Okay," I say softly. I know there is a chance we will be found out, but I don't care. They can catch me going to his room tonight or they could catch me leaving in the morning. They could find us like this in the pavilion, stealing kisses like thieves. It doesn't matter.

I love him. 

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