WITH LOVE / XIAOVEN

seven.

authors note: lolz i graduated hs on sunday so u guys can officially call me old </3 but other than that, im currently staying at my dads so updates might be a bit wonky for the next three chapters or so? uhh this chapter is mostly about xiaos backstory/reason for becoming an idol so tw for implications of abuse !! its not in depth bc i know xiao wouldnt outright trauma dump to anyone lmao. anyway enjoy the chapter!

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when venti wakes up, he wakes up in pain. venti is about to start yelling in pain, asking himself why this was happening when he realizes that xiao had slept on him that night, laying all of his weight on venti’s arm. now listen, xiao doesn’t weigh a lot, in fact he weighs less than venti but having a grown man's weight on you for almost five or six hours definitely takes a toll on his body. 

venti groans as he slowly opens his eyes, the sunlight nearly blinding him as he awoke. venti looked around the room only for his eyes to land on a bare back- namely xiao’s bare back. 

“jesus why are you getting more and more naked the more i spend time with you?” venti says aloud, shoving his face into his pillow. 

“oh you’re up.” xiao notices as he walks into the small hotel closet with both of their clothing shoved in,”i was actually changing but you decided to wake up right then and there.” 

venti hums as he shoves the blankets off of him, “for some reason i feel like you’re lying but i’ll trust you, my dearest xiao.” 

venti grins as he notices xiao’s body flush from venti’s last three words. god xiao was so easy to make flustered and embarrassed, venti loved it. 

venti sat up in their shared bed looking at xiao as he opened their shared closet. even if it feels odd, venti enjoys examining xiao’s body (especially looking at his tattoo, but don't tell xiao that). venti eyes slowly trail down xiao’s back and they soon land on small scars by the small of his back and on his hips. venti furrowed his eyebrows, he’d never seen them before even when xiao’s shirt had ridden up and venti’s eyes immediately became attached to his skin. but then again, venti had reasoned with himself, he had always seen stylists surrounded by xiao with creams and concealers while the man lifted his shirt up, not letting anybody see him at all, not even his fellow members. 

“stop staring.” 

xiao’s voice wakes venti from his staring. venti’s head shoots up to look at xiao, who’s looking over his shoulder with a neutral face. 

“i’m sorry! It just happened to catch my eye and i’m just now realizing how bad of an apology that is uh-” venti is cut off by xiao who pulls a shirt over his head, he sighs before he replies. 

“It’s fine plus, i should’ve expected you to stare when i’ve never told you nor hu tao what happened.” xiao says and venti begins waving his hands in refusal, 

“no! no! you really don’t have to tell me if it’s personal, really.” venti grins nervously as xiao sits down next to him on the bed. 

“do you know why i chose to become an idol?” xiao asks and venti can’t help but know that there is probably an incredibly tragic and traumatic story behind this. 

“uh i don’t know?” venti shrugs, “wanted to make music? make people happy?” venti guesses but xiao’s straight face tells him that he is nowhere near to the answer. 

“i wanted… i wanted to not be home, ever. i never wanted to know what was waiting behind those doors as soon as i got home. so i eventually realized that idols hardly ever go home and that was the dream for me. i didn’t want anything else but that.” xiao sighs as he runs a hand through his hair, “i auditioned for literally every company i saw until i auditioned for here and they took me in. so in a way, zhongli saved me.” 

oh. 

it was all clicking for venti- that was why xiao refused to speak bad about zhongli- the ceo, even if it was a joke. 

“are you still in contact with them?” venti asks as he pulls his legs up to his chest, tucking his face in his knees. 

“no, not at all. i cut off all contact with them when i was sixteen. i changed everything about me that they knew- i had to change my name and everything.” xiao says. venti really couldn't think of xiao except as well, xiao. he can't imagine the other with a completely different name.

"what was your old name if you don’t mind me asking?” venti says softly, tiptoeing around the topic. 

“alatus.” xiao says with a sad smile. the name was beautiful but it was obvious that said name gave xiao suffering when he was known as that. 

"xiao fits you more,” venti says, “i’m glad you were able to tell me this but i do have a question.”

xiao's eyebrows furrow slightly, “what is it?” 

“what would you be if you weren’t an idol and your life wasn’t like that?”

xiao pauses. he had never had time to think about that- the only thing that ran through his mind was survival, not his future. 

"i.. i don't know." xiao admits, "i've never had time to think about what i wanted."

venti reaches up to ruffle xiao’s hair with a smile, “i hope one day you do find what you truly want to do. not something like this where you do it simply for survival.” 

xiao nods and then there is nothing. they both sit in silence, wallowing in each other's presence. it wasn't strange nor foreign to the two men, it was comforting. 

the comfort soon ended within minutes by a shrill tone of music ringing from xiao's phone. 

xiao picks the phone up and is immediately met with screaming. 

"where are you? you two know what time it is, correct?" jean asks, irritation obviously present in her voice. 

"we're still in our room and far as i'm aware it's going to be 5:30AM in a couple minutes." xiao answers. 

they both hear jean sigh over the phone- "i thought i clearly said be in hu tao's room by that time. so please hurry,  we have to get you three to the stylists by six." 

xiao nods even though he knew that jean couldn't see them over the phone and with that they say their goodbyes. once the two men slip their shoes on, venti outreaches his hand towards the other man and with a small smile, he asks the man a question:

"shall we get going then?"