by the sidelines • haechan

thirty nine

"It seemed easy before," he mumbled, but it was loud enough for me to throw a glare at him as he apologised instantly. A frown formed on his face as he thought carefully, and I hope he's actually thinking about something useful or my last ray of hope would shatter into pieces.

"Won't they have another branch in Seoul too? You could just transfer to that," He raised, and that question actually seeped into me before I could throw it out.

"Actually, that is a great-" I stopped, another thought flicking it back out of my head. "No, I can't. I owe a lot to Coach Yoon, I can't quit my old club."

"Then request Mooyung to let you have online lessons." He tried again, only for me to shut him down immediately.

"Even if they do, I have hands-on assignments and projects that can't be done on a screen. You should know that."

"Then pull out and go to a university in Jeju."

"You must be kidding."

"Gosh, you're so troublesome." He let out a deep sigh, staring at me with his tired eyes. "Did you call me here just to ask me about this?"

I sucked in my lips, feeling regretful that it was exactly the case. "No, I just needed someone to rant to. I just don't want it to look like I'm running away again."

Silence filled the gazebo as I gazed at the orange sky, wishing how I could just become a cloud and float around all day with no worries. Hyojin's restless movements knocked me out of my thoughts, prompting me to speak again.

"Feel free to leave, the talk is done." I didn't expect my voice to sound so hostile, but it did make my brother hop to his feet. Guess I'll be alone for the rest of the day.

To my surprise, he stood right in front of me, the blockage causing me to look up at him in confusion.

"As much as I want to go home and sleep, I must at least give you some advice," He sighed while crossing his arms, his shadow covering me in darkness.

"In all honesty, I want you to come back home. Your school, your club, your family, they're all here. You can't just let a month of vacation overwrite all that. Your new friends in Jeju probably know you're gonna move back and have already prepared for it, now it's just you." He ended with a stern voice, his expression hard to read from the shadow. I knew what he meant, but I secretly hoped there was another meaning to it.

"But that's just my opinion," he continued before I could open my mouth, "There's only so much advice I can give; the rest is up to you. I can't be deciding the future for you."

His words left a tingling sensation in my heart as I smirked at his sudden wisdom. "That's probably the sweetest and wisest thing you ever said, but you're right." He looked smug with that compliment, but tried to keep it subtle as I stood up to face him.

"Glad to hear that. So what's your decision?" He asked, causing me to take back what I said about him instantly.

"Give me time, won't you?" I snarled. He sniggered and ruffled my head so hard half my hair fell in front of my face. "Then I hope you choose well," he assured, proceeding to pick up his duffle bag. "Now if you let me, I wanna knock off."

I bid him goodbye, watching his figure disappear behind the bushes. Even though our talk was short, it did clear a lot of my doubts. His straightforward opinion was somehow convincing as it stated all the obvious facts, my mind beginning to lean towards his stance. But I still needed more time to consider it.

I brisk walked back to our picnic area, afraid that my new friends would wonder where I was, until a silhouette in front of me halted me in my tracks.