Another thing that is abrupt is the love story of Kalyani and Vijaya. There are no mentions on how they met, how they fell in love and how they know each other. This makes the starting of the book distasteful. The readers cannot form a vision of their relation and the chemistry seems missing. No hard feelings but when the plot proceeds, their love just feels physical and not some deep connection of souls.
Next will be the plot holes. Many events and scenes are abrupt and unexplained, contradicting the scene that comes next. For example on the night before the swayamwar, when Kalyani is in the garden, she meets Vijaya out of nowhere. It seems very absurd that a random man is in the royal gardens that too in front of the princess as if there are no guards with the princess and then the next day Vijaya comes dressed as a brahmin. There is no explanation to it on how and why it happened. It confuses the readers too. Another such scene is when Kalyani escaped out of the palace at night which is again absurd. Are there no maids around the queen? Is there no security around the palace that the queen escapes so easily? Another such scene where the setting of the scene is confusing. In first line the princess is on the swing in her chamber but in the next paragraph, you find her near some octagonal pool. Now this is where the readers are confused whether the pool is in the room or she reached the garden. And if she is in her room, then how a stranger came there out of nowhere? So such prominent plot holes need attention and care.
Another thing that I would like to put a light on is the writing style and grammar. This is probably the major set back of the book. There are tense switches in the entire book without any reason. The pronouns are also not properly placed which confuses the readers on what is going on. There are places where the author has used he instead of she, my instead of her etc. There are tense issues in the entire book which makes it very tough and confusing to read. Next is the vocabulary. Though the efforts by the author are appreciated that he or she wants to use new and effective word to enhance the story, but not all words are to be used in a sentence despite their similar meaning. The sentence formation is also disturbed at many places because of such words.
The scenes and their explanations at places are very abrupt and incomplete. The scenes feel very incomplete and confuse the readers on what is really happening and what is going on. The explanations need not to be rushed. The author needs to explain everything patiently on what is going on rather than rushing into the next scene. The instance when Kalyani is very sick, it becomes very confusing whether she is actually bleeding or the author is using a metaphor. So the scene is not very clear on what is going on. Less scenes with proper explanations are always better than more scenes with no proper explanation.
The next problem is the setting of the story. Eventhough the author has mentioned that the time is fictitious, it is ancient India. So things like tiles, chain of dress etc didn't exist in those times. This acts as a major mistake because the readers can easily point out these mistakes. Also it is very absurd that a man is kissing a princess of a kingdom on the cheek and the princess is welcoming it very normally when the next day she finds it difficult to identify him in his other attire. So such things also need proper attention because time setting plays a major role in the story.
Next thing is the character development and emotions. The plot of the book is a complex one because in such circumstances, the characters face many waves of complex emotions. The author is not really portraying them properly. In one paragraph the protagonist is pitying her husband but in the next one, she is absolutely furious with him. Yes it is true that humans feel mixed emotions but the author doesn't really connect those feelings. There failed connection between the contrasting feelings of the protagonist makes it feel like we are talking about two people instead of one. Like there is a fun banter going on but for no reason, the protagonist starts cursing the other one in mind. So in short, the character development and character emotions are very irregular and disconnected. Hence the readers cannot really feel the character. The characters also feel very immature despite being royals. There are hardly any places where they behave like royals.
Overall Analysis:
The book is a fresh concept with a proper blend of human nature, duties and emotions. The story has a lot of scope where the author can present many events and emotions in a new way. If the author works a little more on the weak parts, this book has the potential to shine among the swarm of books in Historical fiction genre. The review is just a critical analysis of the wok and shall be taken in a sporting way. All the best for your future projects.
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