To Try Our Souls: PART I OF 'TO CURSE THE DARKNESS' (Kylo x Reader)

Arrogation

Looking myself over in the mirror after my shower, I tried to figure out how best to hide the bruising from my earlier encounter with Ren. My mouth was swollen from both the fellatio I'd been forced to perform as well as a split lip resulting from the cracks across the face, which had also left purple welts highlighting my cheekbones.

It brought back bitter memories of Varryl's last days before his death. My longtime companion had turned from someone I could trust and rely upon into a monster I no longer recognized but couldn't bring myself to abandon. Yet, here I was again, faced with a man to whom I was attracted but who would subject me to mistreatment I hadn't earned. And I would have to do the same thing now as I did before – I would deal with one feature of this man at a time.

As I applied concealing cream to my face, I thought how I was doing the same with my feelings – erase it, cover it up, make it so you don't notice... The door notification sounded, startling me out of my mental meandering. I was afraid who it might be, but nevertheless I set down the compact and answered the door to my quarters.

Standing in the hallway, scowling, was Captain Dentley. His face was dark, but seeing me, even behind the makeup, his jaw dropped.

"Please come in, Captain," I asked, bracing myself for the lecture surely to come.

"Niela," he pleaded gently, referring to me by my first name in the privacy of my rooms. I could hear both concern and disappointment in his voice. He knew I'd disobeyed him in a way, disregarding his fears for my safety.

"You warned me, Captain," I admitted sheepishly, sighing. "I couldn't help myself, I had to go back to check up on him after I left you. But you were right."

"Niela," Captain Dentley said somberly, placing his hands on both my shoulders, "I know I told you to consider whether you thought you could handle him," he replied grimly, his eyes darkening, "but now we have no choice."

"What do you mean, Captain?" I asked fearfully.

"I... I can't help you," he stammered, his arms dropping to his sides in defeat. "He's demanded I assign you to him for the duration of his sick leave. There's nothing I can do!" He seemed almost frantic, and I felt sorry for him.

I was silent for a moment, and then considered the situation. "Well, better me than one of the other staff," I replied, resigned to my circumstances. "A younger woman, a less experienced one, she wouldn't be up for this."

"And you shouldn't have to be, Sharva," he answered angrily. "We're here to serve the First Order, not this petulant bastardꟷ"

As my hand shot out to cover his mouth, his eyes opened wide.

"Don't, Captain", I begged him, "please. You don't know what he can do."

As I withdrew my hand, Captain Dentley held it gently for a moment, a fatherly gesture I appreciated. Davin Dentley had been one of my closest companions since joining the First Order, and I appreciated how much he looked out for me.

I smiled tightly at him, a small expression to try reassuring him I would be alright.

"I'd better check in on him before the evening shift," I said quietly, gathering the equipment I'd need for my rounds.

"Come see me afterward," he asked worriedly.

"I will," I assured him as we left my quarters and headed in separate directions.

Making the long trek down to Kylo's quarters for his evening follow-up visit, I considered, as Dentley had advised, with whom I was dealing. But who was this man? He could open doors with his mind, read my thoughts, touch my body from across the room, enter deep trances to escape pain that would have sent another person into a coma. Was this The Force? I knew so little about Jedi or Sith or whomever they were. My mind focused on science – what I could see and prove, not some mysterious energy that could be manipulated against unsuspecting victims.