Darkness (s.m a.u)

nine

At the middle of the night, another nightmare hit me like a nightmare and I arose from my bed, holding onto my forehead. An enormous migraine hit my forehead, and I felt dizzy. 

My heart started aching, confused on what to do. Shawn wasn't running in with sweatpants, and Sam wasn't up...holding me tight. Nobody was up, and it was all my imagination playing tricks on me again. Jack's alive. I thought. Maybe I can go find him.

Looking over to my arm, I saw that I was attached to a bigger band then before, fitting comfortably on my left bicep. Attached to it was an I.V that was connected to the band. It had my heart-rate lighting up in neon green on the front. Geeze. Technology.

Getting up, I walked quietly out of the room and through the winding hallways of the hospital. Mostly everyone asleep. It looked mostly quiet on our side, and I examined the rooms, looking for what Jack would be in. 

My feet walked through a couple more long hallways until stopping. My mind went on full alert when I saw a person on the stretcher getting wheeled in. Paramedics came flying in, and a full set of people. They filled the little pathway with a rambunctious amount of noise. I watched in awe as the doctors took immediate action on the case, shouting random words as they went along. I wonder if Shawn is there.

As they passed rooms, my attention flew to one of the windows. My heart skipping a beat, making out a familiar face. It was Jack. But... he was in the coma room. He's in an coma? My Jack?

My legs, feeling like jello, made their way to the room. My heart speaking instead of my mind when I entered the room. Holding my hand to my mouth, tears tried to escape my eyes but I wouldn't let them. The boy who gave me a home, and somewhere to go... and loving arms was still alive in front of me. My guilt vanished from my body, and I quietly made my way over to him. 

Tears rolled down my cheeks, and I sniffled, taking his cold hand into mine. I could imagine his smile distinctly on his face. I could imagine his laugh, how it lit up every conversation. While looking at him, I could hear his voice. How it would wake me up in the mornings, and how it would tuck me in to bed. I could also see his face after the first time we made love, or better yet- even kissed. His expressions are impressed in my heart. Something about being next to him made me feel overjoyed, because maybe... one day, I might see them again.

"Jack, I miss you." my voice let out, whispering to no one imparticular. 

"I know, the night of the accident... I- I was just being selfish. I selfish bitch. I never meant to hurt you, or me either. I just wanted for you to be happy. But now, we are both here. You are alive. I know you are in there, and I know you are going to be okay. I- I met a nice guy, and his name is Shawn. I-I oon't know how I feel about him yet and it really scares me. I still partly love you, and I can't let you go."

A sob escaped my mouth, and my head hit his pillow. A soft whimper coming out from deep in my throat. His hand lightly tightened mine. Looking up, I watched his hand trying to tighten more, but suddenly, it stopped and released slowly. 

"Please don't leave me. I love you."

_________________________________________________________________

"Hey baby!"

I turned my head, and I saw Shawn walking into the room. He had his usual notes in his hand, and he looked overjoyed to see me. His eyes flashed toward me really fast, warming to their usual hazelnut brown color. The dimple in his left cheek forming again.

"Hi."

"How are you feeling?" he asked, heading over to me again. He pecked my lips. Somebody is in a really happy mood today.