Tum Mere Ho

Pain 2

I silently went to the lake and sat there. I  closed my eyes feeling the breeze but her crying face came infront of my eyes and I felt a pain in my heart..  How good it would have been if she would have never loved dev, or how good it would have been if dev would have never betrayed her.. Atleast she won't have been crying like this...
I was feeling hurt for myself but I was feeling more hurt for her, for all that she had to go , for all her crying , her pain , everything..
The raavi who always use to have a smile on her face , hasn't even smiled after marriage, that girl was crying and I was the reason for it.

I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder , and turned around only to find gaumbi there with a worried look on his face..

I quickly composed myself...

Author pov

Gautam who was looking for shiva finally found him near the lake
He went and sat next to him at the bench and waited for him toh acknowledge his presence, but when  he realised that shiva was deep in thought ,he gently put an arm around his shoulder making him aware about him.

Gaumbi looked at his younger brother and realised that all these days he was right about shiva being concerned about something and that he was not being himself..
He knew shiva was having an emotional fight and that he needs to let everything out..

Gautam: kya hua shiva , kyu chala aaya tu aise ,

Shiva : kuch nhi gaumbi , bas nhi rha jaa rha tha waha mujhse..

Gautam : shiva waha puja chal rhi ha aur tu wo chod ke yaha aa gaya, kuch toh baat hogi ?

Shiva : wo raa...

Gautam : aaj raavi ke baare main baat nhi karenge , aaj tu mujhe, apne bade bhai ko aapne gaumbi ko bata ki tu kya feel kr rha ha..mujhe tere dil ki baat jaanani ha

Shiva looked at gautam and realised that if he could be open to anyone that will be gaumbi his elder brother.

Shiva suddenly hugged gaumbi and started crying like a child who was being through a lot and suddenly got someone to relay on..

Shiva : kuch feel nhi ho rha ha gaumbi bas adhura sa lg rha ha , khali pan mehsoos ho rha ha bas.. Aisa lg rha ha ki jaise kisi ne seene main se dil Nikal liya ho aur wapas rakhna bhool gaya ho..

Gaumbi  who has been observing shiva from few days now knew that he was hurt about something, the shiva who could rearly get silent infront of his family was being silent a lot , he looked lost and hurt both. He knew it was something related to him and raavi , but what he didn't knew is that it was hurting him so much.. the shiva who barley use to cry was crying like a child holding his elder brother..
And it was hurting gaumbi..

Gaumbi: bas kr shiva kyu roo rha ha tu itna

Shiva : wo khush nhi ha gaumbi mere saath..

Gaumbi : shiva ye shaadi achank se hui ha , thoda time de usee wo..

Shiva: nhi gaumbi , we nhi ha khush , aur kabhi nhi ho paiyenge.. Usko takleef ho rhi ha gaumbi, dard ho raha ha usee , uske ankho main ansoo ke alawa aur kuch nhi dekha ha mujhe in 10 dino main..
Wo pyaar krti ha dev se gaumbi , kaise dekh skti ha wo usse har roz kisi aur ke saath, kaise..
mujhse nafrat krti ha, wo nhi ha khush gaumbi nhi ha wo khush..
Aur mujhse nhi bardasht ho rha ha gaumbi , nhi jhel paa rha hu main uski ye nafrat , nhi jhel paa rha...

Gautam : usne aisa kaha ha kya shiva ?

Shiva : khena kya ha gaumbi uski ankho main maine dekha ha aapne liye nafrat , gussa, narazgi..
please gaumbi , mujse nhi bardasht ho rha ha ye dard aab , maine bht koshish ki usse bhoolne ki usse dur jane ki pr nhi ho rha ha kya karu main aap batao na , kya karu..
Mujhse nhi dekha jaa rha ha uski ankho main aapne liye nafrat aur naa main usse dard mai dekh skta ho...

Before gautam could say anything shiva said...

Shiva : main kya kru gaumbi aap batao naa , kya karu, ki ye dard kaam ho jaiye..apke pass har cheez ka solution ha na toh batao na aap ki main kya karu...
Bht dard ho raha ha mujhe gaumbi , aur nhi bardasht ho rha ye dard mujhse..kyu main kisi ke pyaar ke layak nhi hu , kyu
aapke aur bhabhi ke siwaye koi mujhse pyaar nhi krta ha , kyu koi mujhe samajh nhi pata ha , kya karu main ,  bht dard ho raha hai mujhe gaumbi please isse khatam kr do please...
Mera dil phat rha ha , bachpan se sabne sirf mera gussa dekha ha koi mera pyaar kyu nhi dekh pata ha , koi ye kyu nhi dekh pta ha ki mujhe bhi dard hota hai takleef hoti hai..
Mera dil phat rha ha gaumbi , bht dard ho raha ha mujhe..
Shiva was crying like there was no tomorrow, and for once he didn't felt like holding himself back..

Gautam who was  listening to shiva left helpless for the first time in his life..He felt his own tears streaming down his eyes seeing the pain his younger brother, his shiva was going through..

They all knew that raavi has loved dev as long as one could remember but what he didn't knew was that it has affected his  shiva so much..
His little brother who always use to say that he hates raavi was actually crying for her... He knew that shiva was not only crying because of Raavi's hate toward him ,but also because she loved dev or still loves him..

While shiva For the first time in all these days  has let his gaurds down..Truly he cried that day ,but he knew he needed someone and that somone was his gaumbi..
He suddenly felt like a 5 year old crying over something , while his father Consoled him..
Gaumbi was not less than a father to  him ,and  shiva knew he will never be judged by his gaumbi and that's why he cried..
He cried for all these years were he had to pretend that he hated raavi , he cried for the pain he felt when he got to know that she loves dev , he cried for the pain he had gone through when dev and raavi's marriage got fixed , he cried for the pain he felt when he saw her hanging herself , he cried for not being loved and understood by her...He cried for every emotion  that  he has felt, from love to hurt to pain to jealous to irritation everything..
But most importantly he cried because he failed to hide his emotions for her , he cried because he loves her and that she could never love him back....