"Seeking the Niceties of Marriage", by Gratiana Lovelace, 2021 (Done)

Ch. 05: Consulting Kitt

Lord Kittredge: "La! Do I hear wedding bells? You did offer for her at the Marshall's ball last night."

Lord Edward: Instantly upon his guard and not wanting to be forced into a decision either way, Lord Edward retreats from his marital offer. "Do not get your hopes up, Kitt. I like Emmy, I do."

Lord Kittredge: "But?" Lord Kitt pouts in consternation for Lord Edward's underwhelming response--with regard to his eyebrow plucking efforts with Lady Emily.

Lord Edward: "Hhhh! Kitt? Emmy wants to be courted and wooed—and end up with a grand passionate romance. I am not sure that I have the patience and dedication for such an undertaking."

Lord Kittredge: "Are you saying that you do not want to bother getting to know Emmy better? I would suggest that you would be repeating your former mistakes in that regard. Or, do you prefer variety in your bed partners too much to be faithful to one woman?"

Lord Edward: "Kitt! Please do not twist what I say. Emmy is perfectly agreeable--too agreeable."

Lord Kittredge: "I find that statement quite odd, Edward—especially coming from you, and given your previous marital history. Do you not want an agreeable wife, this time?" Of course, Lord Kittredge just had to needle his friend by adding the this time phrasal addendum.

Lord Edward: Lord Edward scowls at being repeatedly reminded of his failure of a first marriage. "I do—want an agreeable wife, that is. But Emmy is so comfortable and friendly with me that I do not think that she considers me to have ... romantic potential."

Lord Kittredge: "Edward, Edward, Edward, I do not believe your stupidity! Emmy submitted to my plucking her eyebrows raw for forty minutes, just so she could look pretty for you."

Lord Edward: "Surely not, Old Chap." As he retracts his head backwards in almost a turtle like fashion, Lord Edward looks incredulously askance at his best friend.

Lord Kittredge: "Oh yes she did! Edward, Emmy has a crush on you--she has had for years. If you are not going to pursue her, please let her down gently now--before she gets hurt." He pleads with his lifelong friend.

Lord Edward: His eyes widen. "Are you for certain that Emmy believes herself to ... to care for me?"

Lord Kittredge: "I swear on the life of my first born child."

Lord Edward: "Kitt, pardon me for saying this, but if you wish me to believe you, perhaps you should swear upon something more likely to happen." I wryly counter my longtime best friend.

Lord Kittredge: "Well, I could marry and have a child some day." I sniff petulantly as I flick my lace edged sleeve cuffs.

Lord Edward: When pigs fly, thinks Lord Edward. "Alright, I will concede that it is possible--just not probable." I raise a knowing eyebrow in companion to my indulgent smile.

Lord Kittredge: "You wound me, Edward." And Lord Kittredge favors Lord Edward with his best scowling glower.

Lord Edward: "Kitt, some men are more destined for marriage and a family than others. And I feel that I am—or that I hope to have—a marriage and family destiny. But I do not know if Lady Emily Creighton is the wife for me." He states plainly, without emotion—though the thought of making another marital mistake is his main concern.

Lord Kittredge: "Well, I guess that is progress—you are not ruling Emmy out, I mean." I survey my friend's inscrutable countenance. "Is it your first marital experience that is causing you to hesitate, Edward?"