Make You Stay (Book 2 of You Trilogy)

Kabanata 6

"Hindi? Talaga? Kaya ba wala kang ibang kaibigan maliban sa'min nina Hannah at Joshua? Kaya ba ayaw mong makisalamuha sa iba? Ganoon ba, Claui?"

"I don't need a lot of friends!"

"I am not saying you need friends! I am saying you want to but you're scared!" tumaas ang boses niya

Kinagat ko ang aking pang-ibabang labi. 

"Then can you blame me? Can you blame me if I'm scared, huh?"

Lumambot ang ekspresyon niya at umiling. Saglit na katahimikan ang bumalot sa aking kuwarto.

"Clau you're just 12. Ang bata mo pa para magkaroon ng ganito ka lalang trust issue. It hurts me so much. Alam mo kung bakit? Kase dapat... sa ganitong edad, nakikisalamuha ka. Pero hindi. Eto ka, closing your door. Guards so high. Now, do you get me? Do you understand my concern?"

I balled my fist. 

"Please stop jailing yourself in the past. I am not asking you to forgive, I am asking you to at least forget. Huwag kang masyadong lumayo at tumakbo, Claui. Baka isang araw, ang mga taong humahabol sa'yo, mapagod. Hahayaan ka nalang at hindi ka na hahabulin pa. And then what? You'll realize it all in the end and live with regrets. With a life full of what ifs."

Tuluyang nahulog ang luha ko. I couldn't even say something. I hate it. I hate that Bench was right. He was always right.

"Kung gusto mo si Blue, hindi kita pipigilan. Andito naman ako bilang kuya para gabayan ka. Besides, I trust that boy."

Tumayo siya at kinain ang distansyang meron kami. I let Bench envelope me with a hug.

"I am just 12. I am too young for this, right? Ikaw ang nagsabi," pagpapaalala ko sa kanya

Funny how I was always a believer of 'love has no age limit', yet, right now, I am doubting myself. 

"You are. But... eventually I realized, no one is too young for love."

Kinalma ko ang aking sarili at pinunasan ang sariling luha. 

Maybe, I am just really overreacting. Maaaring hindi naman ito ganun ka big deal. This is normal. Tao lang naman ako. I can like someone too. 

"Loosen up, Claui! Don't take things too seriously. You're too young to not enjoy life."

"Thanks, Bench." I smiled sincerely

Ngumiti siya pabalik at ginulo ang aking buhok.

"Tama na ang drama. Bumaba ka na roon. Your prince charming is waiting."

Unti-unting umawang ang aking labi nang mapagtanto ang sinabi niya.

"What?! Blue's here?"

Pairap siyang nag-iwas ng tingin.

"So he is indeed your prince charming, huh?"

Natulala ako at hindi na nadepensahan pa ang aking sarili.

"Nasa ibaba si Blue. Kanina pa 'yun naghihintay. Kaya nga kita pinuntahan dito."

I tried finding a trace of joke somewhere in his face but I couldn't find any. 

"Why is... why is he here?"

Inangat ni Bench ang kanyang kilay.

"Tinakbuhan mo 'di ba? Kaya ayun, hinabol ka. Naks, si Rapunzel ka na pala? Haba ng buhok, ah." panunukso niya

My face heated at the thought of Blue sitting on our couch, patiently waiting for me. Goodness, pwede bang huwag nalang akong bumaba? Kinakabahan ako! 

What would I tell him? How would I explain? Would he believe me? 

"Huy! Ayan nag-ooverthink ka na naman! Loosen up nga, Claui. Just go with the flow and let things happen. Huwag kang masyadong mag-isip. Kaya nagmumukha ka nang matanda eh."

Bago ko pa siya mabato ng isa pang unan, lumabas na sa kuwarto si Bench. Naihilamos ko ang aking palad sa aking mukha at dahan-dahang tumingin sa salamin. Shoot! Naka-uniform pa pala ako. 

Nagbihis muna ako ng pambahay. High waisted denim shorts and black cropped top. I also sprayed a bit of cologne. Maging polbo ay nagawa ko pang ipatong sa aking mukha. Liptint din pala. Kung bakit? Ikaw na mag-isip. 

"Ayan na ang prinsesa, bro. Pasensya na natagalan. Nag-ayos pa eh." dinig na dinig ko si Bench

I saw him in our sala. With Blue who's now standing to greet me. I glared at my brother before meeting Blue's eyes. He's no longer in his jersey uniform. 

Magsasalita na sana ako nang bumukas ang front door at iniluwa si Dad. He's in his corporate attire. Nakita ko kung papaano siya nagulat nang makita si Blue. 

"Dad, si Blue nga pala. Kaibigan... namin ni Claui." si Bench

Magalang na yumuko si Blue at bumati.

"Magandang hapon po, Sir."

Bago pa sila magkamayan, hinigit ko na ang braso ni Blue at hinila sa labas, papunta sa may pool side. Awkward akong ngumiti sa kanya nang tumigil kami sa paglalakad. He seemed confused. Tingin niya siguro ang bastos kong anak. 

"Sorry 'bout that." nag-iwas ako ng tingin

I directed my gaze at the pool in front of us. Walang naliligo kaya naka-steady ang tubig. Kung titignan, mukhang mababaw. Pero kung lalanguyin, malalim. Parang iyong ginawa ko lang kanina. 

Kung sasabihin ko ngayon kay Blue na may kaunting misunderstanding lang, maaaring isipin niyang maaayos din ito sa loob ng ilang oras. Pero kung hahayaan kong malaman niya ang buong storya, malalaman niyang hindi madaling ayusin ang lahat. Ang sugat ay sobrang lalim... sa sobrang lalim, magdaan man ang ilang taon, hindi ito maghihilom.

"Are you okay?"

There's that question again. What does that word mean, by the way? If being okay means physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually fine, then maybe I was never okay.

"Yup." tipid kong sagot "Bakit ka nga pala pumunta pa rito?" I tried to sound casual

"You left without hearing me. So I'm here to-"

"Didn't I told you to stay away?" I asked when I could no longer contain myself

"I am not your servant. You can't just order me to leave whenever you want-"

"Then what is it that you want to do now?"

Nilingon ko siya para bigyan ng naghahamong tingin. Lumunok siya at umayos ng tayo. Nilabanan niya ang titig ko. I want to applaud myself for maintaining a straight face when my knees are almost wobbling.

"I want you to now that you are making my heart thump, too."

I suppressed my lips from parting. 

"You run in my mind before I go to bed, even the moment I wake up. I am always anticipated to texting you. Seeing you. You see, I am almost going crazy."

He advanced a step. Sa gulat ko'y agad akong umatras. Am I really hearing this from him?

"And I want you to know that I am not afraid of how you make me feel. Haharapin ko ang nararamdaman ko para sa'yo, Claudine."

"W-What are you bluffing about?"

My heart melted when he gave me a sincere small smile. Inabot niyang bigla ang aking kamay. Dala ng panghihina, nagpaubaya ako.

"I like you, Claudine Gonzaga."

He slowly placed my hand on his chest. He was looking at me intently while letting me feel how his heart beats quickly against my palm.

Surely, I like him too. So much.