Car plate:
“HAPPY MARRIED LIFE MR. AUSTIN AKINWALE AND MRS. DORA AKINWALE"
3rd September 2017.
That evening at the resort where we lodged for our Honey moon, I and hubby made another private vow “Never to let our anger rise till the next dawn.”
I felt so good to be married to the love of my life. I have dated my husband for six years, starting from my first year in the University, down till after graduation. We so much were meant for each other, almost everyone who knew us envied our companionship.
We had so much fun at the resort for the two weeks we were there. We created so many memories, after which we got back home to our regular life activities.
Our marriage was the healthy one. Of course once in a while we had misunderstandings but they were nothing serious. I was on the hyperactive side or would I rather say I'm the overreactive type, while hubby is the reserved one. Most times I deliberately pissed him off or overreact on certain matters and his only reaction to my tantrums were his apologies, he'll always apologize just for the atmosphere to be peaceful. He never liked malice. His patience really deserved a medal.
Deep down, I knew I had married a perfect man (so to speak). Over the years I had known him, I barely can recall any situation where he's had to raise his voice on anyone concerning an issue. He was mostly admired by the lots. My frequent triggered arguments with him we're just nothing to pay him back for his peace. I knew he often didn’t need my constant bad vibe. He deserved more, but my girlish or rather unnecessary childish attitude would always want to poke his patience. For me, it was fun sometimes seeing us have little disagreements.
When bored, instead of enjoying the peaceful atmosphere with him, a village ancestor would appeal to me “Start up a quarrel!” and Boom! Here I start “ gtgskifhkrqegpsobmll...” With a smile as usual, he’ll say “Ifemi you know we don’t need this right now.” His pet name for me was 'Ifemi' meaning 'my love' in our dialect. He never failed to call me that, even in the midst of a heated argument. If I try to drag an issue, he’ll step out to buy me a flower. It's very interesting to know that I had a room filled with flowers hubby bought for me. 70% of those flowers were for makeups for unnecessary arguments obviously triggered by me, while 30% were for anniversaries and some kind gestures. Flowers were my love language and not for once did my husband hesitate to get me one to make me happy.
We were now in our second year of marriage and we weren’t blessed with a child yet. I’ve had 3 miscarriages in 2years. It always got me worried and put me into moods. But not for once did hubby ever complain. He’ll always encourage me to wait on God’s time. He wasn't only my peaceful partner but also my support system. He would seize every opportunity to convince me both by words and actions to always stand by me and never let anyone make me feel less of a woman because of my current state of childlessness, not even his family. I could tell he defends me as he promised, as none of his family members ever approached me complaining about me not being able to birth yet. Child bearing is considered highly important in our tribe.
It was 1st September, 2020. I was upset at hubby for not putting the AC off in the sitting room the previous night, of which the water from it had leaked out in the sitting room. He apologized that he was so tired last night after working more hours earlier at the office preparing his business proposal. “Besides you were the last to leave the sitting room” he added. I told him how man enough he wasn’t for not waking up in between to check if everything was put off. As usual, he ignored. But he said something he’s never said before “I’m used to your fights.”
I was puzzled. He’s never said something like that before. I silently promised to deal with him. To make him beg more for saying that. “You just indirectly called me a nag right? Well we’ll see how this ends” I said at the top of my voice and left.
He was supposed to travel to Kaduna for a business meeting that morning. I refused making him breakfast. After he bathed, he asked if I wasn’t going to make him some food. I snubbed him. He begged that I wore him his shoes and button his shirt. I always do that, especially days he’s to go for a special event as this. To us, that’s a good fortune sign. Well, I snubbed him as well.
He apologized for my mood, kissed me on my forehead and departed. I knew I had overreacted but it’s just 2 days to our 3rd wedding anniversary. I knew he’ll be getting me more flowers this time not just for the anniversary but also for makeup for the disagreement.
Hours later, his call came in, I ignored and blocked his line so I don’t get to see any text message from him in case he should send one since I wasn’t picking up. But deep down, I wanted to hear his voice. Besides, he was supposed to be back that same day, so I'd get to see him regardless.
Around 8:45pm, his best friend texted me “Your husband didn’t make it.” For a while I tried understanding what the message meant. I concluded he was referring to the business proposal hubby went for. I felt almost unconcerned, as it's not the first time we've had to loss a business proposal.
Somehow, my soul kept panicking, I started feeling some sort of weirdness within me. Few minutes after I got the text message from his friend, I heard a knock at the door. It was my sister inlaw, hubby's immediate younger sister who was living nearby. The visit was unexpected. Her eyes were all swollen and red. The moment I opened the door for her, she bursted into tears and exclaimed “your husband is no more!” This same morning after hubby left for Kaduna, I realized that I was 2 months pregnant. It’s just 2 days to our 3years anniversary. I couldn't wait for his arrival so I break the good news to him and expect even more flowers.
His call that I refused picking, his voice I had ignored hearing, now I long to hear but I can’t. I should have kissed him back before he left. I'd have prepared him breakfast before he left.
I refused dressing him up earlier, but now I’ll have to dress his dead body up, as it is my custom. The flowers I expected him to bring, I’ll have to give him now, but this time he won’t see it. He’s dead! If only I had picked his call to hear his voice for the last time.
Checking his phone, the text he sent of which I never received because I had blocked him, was “Ifemi I was involved in an accident, I need you here please or call any of your family to come check on me please, I love you."
I was told the doctors never attended to him on time because he had no serious injury on his body, not knowing he had some internal bruises and that was how he gave up the ghost. Maybe if I had picked, I’d have contacted some of my relatives in Kaduna to drive straight to the hospital to ensure he was been attended to or moved to another hospital before my arrival. So many thoughts in me, so many "if I had known" playing in my head.
Today, it would have been “HAPPY 3 YEARS ANNIVERSARY MR. AUSTIN AKINWALE AND MRS. DORA AKINWALE" but it is "MR AUSTIN AKINWALE LAID TO REST ON 3RD SEPTEMBER 2017"
With a heart full of so much regrets, I make a vow to you in your grave “ I’ll never take the ring off my finger!” As I'm looking at you lie helplessly and lifelessly, I curse myself to never find peace because I gave you pieces. Today, I present to you in your grave, your Last Flower.
