𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐖 𝐎'𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊

𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 （𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟏）

•Description and Imagery: 8½/10

I love how you describe. It gives me a clear image of everything in my head.  This is one of the many things I love about your book.

•Character development: 8/10

I gave you an eight because I like how you have very flawed, very imperfect characters as it makes me anticipate and want to watch them grow into better, wiser people. Remember to not rob your readers off of this growth.

•World building: 8/10

Like your descriptions, there's nothing I'd want to change about your fictional world. I really like how you describe.

•Plot/Theme: 9/10

I love the entire story idea of having a 'sad, bitter girl, frozen by trauma, who doesn't believe in God and miracles' grow and develop into someone that'd see the light one day. I love how Toby, even with his impending illness is just bursting with positivity and rays of hope. You have a compelling plot that makes it impossible to put your book down.

•Storyflow: 6/10

Your story flow is good. I like how you glide the readers from one scene to the next, but i believe you can do better.

Strengths: your narration, descriptions, graphics, entire story idea/plot, imagery and character building.

Weaknesses: punctuation, spelling and grammar

Total: 67½/100

****

Book: A TWIN WITH A DIFFERENCE

Author: Moroti_Writes

•Book Graphics: 6/10

I will commend the cover for portraying the title of the book to some extent. Although, a more eye catching cover will do.

•Blurb: 2/5

The blurb was okay.  Although, a few punctuation marks were missing here and there, and I feel it is not detailed enough. It expatiates more on the family and the 'curse', and doesn't particularly summarize in accurate details how exactly it is in co-relation to the twins and their 'difference', as the title of the book reads.

•Introduction: 2/5

Well, we were made to understand how the female in the prologue was going through a painful delivery at a young age and we saw how her condition and situation flash in fair details before her eyes.

Although, I feel the writer could have done a better job in actually making us 'feel' the pain the character was feeling, but they did fair enough. Descriptions were not exactly clear. I would reccomend in a scene where there are going to be a lot of emotions, the '5-sense technique' should be applied to make all the emotions feel more relatable and realistic. For example, were the doctors eyes calming and reassuring to look at in her pain? Did it assure her that everything would be okay? Did she hate the smell of her own blood or the hospital in general? How badly was it suffocating, if so? Or was she too much in so much pain that she couldn't take note of these things? She couldn't take note of her environment? Tell us.

How bad was the pain? Tell us. Was it the worst pain she had ever felt before? How, in details, did it feel to have a child's head rip and tear her apart (down there)? Tell us what it felt like, equate it to something, make us feel what she felt in the most relatable and realistic way possible....