Ariana: The Hobbit

Three Mountain Trolls

"That idiot" I grumble putting the bowl down unsheathing my dagger. The others grab their weapons and we go to help my brother. Gloin tells me to stay close to him. We soon begin to fight the trolls distracting them from Bilbo.

Until he gets captured by them. "Lay down your arms! Or we'll rip his off!" one the trolls tells us.

"Bilbo" I say worried for my big brother. I give Thorin a pleading look. Reluctantly Thorin drops his sword and we follow suit. Then the trolls have tied up some of the dwarves on a spit over a fire, while the rest of us are held in bags that are tied up to our necks.

"Any bright ideas?" Bilbo asks me as the trolls argue about how to cook us. Worried about turning to stone.

"Maybe, but it's risky" I tell him.

"I'm with you" he assures me. We stand up and hop over to the three mountain trolls. "Wait! You are making a terrible mistake" we tell them.

"You can't reason with them, they're half-wits" Dori tells us.

"Half-wits? What does that make us?" Bofur asks him.

"We mean about the seasoning" I tell the trolls, ignoring the dwarves.

"What about the seasoning?" the troll cooking asks.

"Well, have you smelt them? You're gonna need something stronger than sage before you plate this lot up" Bilbo tells them.

"He's right, maybe some thyme or rosemary" I tell them.

"We don't have either" he states.

"What do you know about cooking?" another demands.

"I'm a woman, it's my job to cook" I state. Though truthfully, I don't enjoy cooking or domestic chores. Like cleaning.

"Shut up, and let the...uh, flurgerburbur-hobbit and woman talk" the cook tells him.

"Uh...the-the secret to cooking dwarf, is um" I say looking at Bilbo for help.

"Yes, come on" he urges me.

"Is to..." I say trying to think.

"The secret is...to...skin them first!" Bilbo exclaims. I give him a 'really' look. He just shrugs with a sheepish smile.

"Tom, get me filleting knife" the cook tells one of the other trolls.

"What a load of rubbish! I've eaten plenty with their skins on. Scoff 'em I say, boots and all" one protests.

"He's right! Nothing wrong with a bit o' raw dwarf" Tom agrees. He picks up Gloin in his sack and holds him up. Going to swallow him whole. At the same time Bilbo nudges me and I notice Gandalf in the bushes. Just a little more time.

"Uh...not...not that one, he...he's infected!" I tell the troll. He stops looking at me.

"Yeah he's got worms in his...tubes" Bilbo states. Honestly maybe I should of left him on the pile. But the troll drops Gloin looking disgusted.

"In-in fact, they all have. They're infested with parasites, it's a terrible business, I wouldn't risk it, I really wouldn't" I tell the trolls shaking my head.

"What she said" Bilbo says agreeing with me.

"Parasites, did they say we have parasites?" Oin demands.

"Yeah, we don't have parasites!" Kili shouts and I shot him a glare. Silently telling him to 'shut up'. "You have parasites!" he shouts. Thorin realizes that Bilbo and I is trying to buy us time. And kicks Kili and the others realize what we are doing.

"I've got parasites as big as my arm!" Oin shouts.

"Mine are the biggest parasites, I've got huge parasites!" Kili shouts.

"We're riddled!" Nori shouts.

"Yes, I'm riddled!" Ori agrees.

"Yes, we are, badly!" Dori agrees.

"What would you have us do then? Let 'em all go?" the head troll asks Bilbo and I.

"Well..." we say sharing a look.

"You think I don't know what you're up to. This little ferret and woman are taking us for fools!" he exclaims.

"Ferret?" Bilbo asks me. Suddenly Gandalf appears on the top of a cliff.

"The dawn will take you all!" he tells the trolls. He breaks the cliff he's standing on. Which lets in the rising sun's light and the trolls immediately turn into stone. All the dwarves laugh with joy. I sigh in relief.

A/N

Picture above of Nani and picture on the external link of the drones.