Half Lights || JeanMarco

》Chapter 10《

PoV: Jean

Why didn't he come back already?
How was he alive? I saw his dead body?
Is this just a dream?

These next few hours would either pass as a blip in the course of my life, or they would be the final straw that broke me. At times the memory of finding Marco in the Titan would surface and I couldn't help but swallow hard, willing my eyes to remain dry and my mind focused.

My head was filled with unanswered questions, causing everything to go slower and my mind to not make sense anymore.
I wasn't sure how to handle this, I had never been in this situation, I... shit.

Rushing myself out of my very own cabin, I hurried down the streets, keeping my head down until I arrived at the meeting room of the scouts.
When Levi Squad and Commander Erwin found out what happened, they allowed me after a loud and almost palpable discussion to take care of getting more information out of Marco myself so they were sure he wasn't a threat to anyone.

Marco a threat... it sounded so wrong in my ears. He always cared for everyone and now he was being treated like an animal. Is this what Mikasa and Armin went through with Eren?
And I judged them for it. How the tables have turned.

"Kirstein? Are you even listening?" Captain Levi snapped me out of my thoughts as I sat in the meeting room being questioned about what I already figured out.
"Yes, I'm present, my apologies." I nodded slightly and straightened my posture, holding my chin up a little higher.
"As we asked beforehand already, do you think he could cause any form of trouble as in committing various crimes such as genocide, homicide or treason?" The commander asked like it was the most normal question to ask, raising an eyebrow at me.

The room seemed too big. The lights on the ceiling grew too bright and my heartbeat was louder than my own thoughts. It was like I could feel the blood rushing through my veins, every upcoming movement being a pain.
Could- no, he definitely could, but would he commit any of those crimes? He didn't seem to want any harm.. but he did grab after Sasha back then. Did he want to actually hurt her? Was he even having any control over his actions?
What should I say? Would he?
With worry there must be balance, right? Was it to keep him safe or to pretend he didn't change? There must be safety enough to live well and thrive. There had to be so much safety that necessary risks couldn't happen. Trust in him in these matters, yet take good counsel from the ones that looked at it without having emotions come in between them.
How was I meant to decide without knowing his actual answers?

"No, Sir." I ignored my thoughts, pushing the obvious possibilities away because I didn't want them to be an actual threat.
"Are you willing to take the punishment in case you are to be proven wrong about your statement concerning his possible actions?"
"Yes, Sir." I gulped heavily, looking at the Commander and the Captain before nodding repeatedly.
"Alright. We will meet again tomorrow for a new update of yours." The tall blonde one held his hand out and I shook it as I got up from my chair.
"You can count on me, Sir." I faked a polite smile and went for the door, but was already stopped again by Captain Levi.

"Is he worth it?"
"Sir?" I turned around to face him, feeling slightly insecure by the stare of his.
"I asked if that friend of yours is worth it." He repeated himself and I thought a moment before responding.
"He is."