HOPE

"Fortitudo Saludis"

I turn to look at the clock:
"12:15 a.m" The digital numbers glow in the dark, intertwining with the moonlight, streaming through the curtains.
I give up trying to fall asleep and get out of bed. Looking out the window, I can make out Daryl's sitting silhouette, he hasn't moved from the infirmary stairs since Dr. Johnson asked us to wait outside.
My attempts to get him to dine with us were obviously in vain so I gave up.
My feet lead me to the dresser, the look that the mirror returns to me is lost, as I am.
I turn my eyes away from my reflection, going over the objects that lie in disorder on the furniture until I stop, completely blank, at my discovery.
I grab the small pocket knife Daryl gave me, gently tracing the inscription on its carved wood with my fingers:
"Fortitudo Saludis"
Suddenly, all the previously shuffled hypotheses disappear, Daryl's strange behavior is explained, and the identity of the injured woman is confirmed.
"It's her".

Daryl POV:

I was so deep in thought that I didn't hear the footsteps heading towards me. It was Carol's voice that pulled me out of my mind.

"Is her, isn't it?"

I looked at her for a few moments before nodding slowly and lowering my eyes to the ground.
She walked over to me, sitting next to me on the stairs, both of us in awkward silence, only broken by the slight snoring of Dog, who had already fallen asleep.

"She'll be fine, you know that, right?-Carol spoke again.

"Mmmm." I nodded slightly, still staring at my shoes. I still wear Beth's shoelaces on them ... Beth, that person who ended up meaning so much to me, like a kind of a younger sister that I lost in Atlanta years ago.
I miss her, and Glenn, Rick, Carl, Connie ... and even idiot Merle.
I refuse to think I'll have to miss Leah too, not after I've found her, it just cannot be that easy. "Damn, what would I give for a fucking cigarette right now."-I think raising my head to look at Carol who, as if she had read my mind, is already handing me one.
We both sat there, inhaling and appreciating the sweet effect of nicotine on the brain.
When you spend so much time thinking, you come to conclusions that were previously blind to you.
-What I told ya' that day, about getting back on the boat ... I shouldn't have said that, I ain't the best one to talk. -I take a drag on my cigarette, without looking at the woman sitting next to me. -I didn't know when to stop either. I spent years in the forest chasing a ghost finding nothing.- I lower my head again with my eyes trying to pierce the ground.
Nothing?-I see out of the corner of my eye as Carol looks at me.
-I think you found something.
Her words make me look up, realizing many things. The woman is silent for a moment before continuing:
"As I just found you Judith, come on, get out from behind that tree."

I follow her gaze, confused, noticing for the first time the girl in pajamas, who is slowly approaching us.
-You couldn't sleep either huh?- Carol says with a warm smile.

-I saw you from my bedroom window leaving the house, I'm sorry I followed you.-the eldest of the Grimes siblings apologizes.

-It's ok Judith, but you shouldn't have left Rj alone, he's small.

-But he's not alone, Lydia is sleeping on the couch.

The older woman laughs.
-You remind me so much of Carl ... C'mon darling.-She says getting up from the stairs and extending her hand towards the girl.
-Let's go back to bed, it's too late.

-Can Dog come with us?- Not that lil' ass kicker turns to look first at me and then at the dog, causing him to lift his ears and wake up when he hears his name.
-I think it's a great idea Judith, and give him something to eat, he must be hungry, isn't it boy?-I pat the animal that, along with them,go towards the house, turning a corner and disappearing into the night.
The infirmary door opens behind me, shedding some light onto the dark, empty streets of Alexandria.
I stand up immediately to look at Dr. Johnson. "Everything has gone well." I can see a tired smile leave her lips and I sigh, relieved, feeling as if I took a huge breath of air after having been drowning little by little in a frozen lake.

-How is she?-I ask her.

-Well, it's not stable yet, but we've been able to extract the bullet,her pulse is still weak, but I notice improvements when you brought her in.

-Can see her?

The woman nods and says good night before leaving. Behind her comes Jerry, happily devouring a sandwich and sipping a large glass of orange juice.
This man can have all the blood removed from his body and he'll keep smiling.
I also greet him before entering the room, focusing entirely on Leah, who is on the gurney in a clean new white T-shirt, covered with a blanket up to her waist.
Her skin tone has a little more color and I see her chest rising and falling calmly.
I notice the rope around her wrist, keeping her tied to the bed.

"It's a precaution" -Maggie's voice startles me, reading my hurt expression.

-Sorry, I hadn't seen you, I forgot you were here.-I apologize avoiding eye contact.

The young woman shakes her head, approaching me and putting a hand on my shoulder, looking at me sympathetically.
"I remember how Glenn tied my father with some handcuffs when he got bit".

The memory of Hershel in prison comes to my mind.

-It's hard to see someone you love in this situation but, unfortunately, it's necessary.-Greene sighs and turns to leave but my voice stops her softly.

-How do you know that-?

-I can see it Daryl.- Her words followed by a smile stop me from finishing asking my question.
"Good night Daryl."- The woman says goodbye, leaving the infirmary and closing the door, leaving me alone with Leah.
I walk over to the gurney and sit in the chair next to it.
I gently take the hand of the unconscious woman, caressing her knuckles with my fingers, allowing my words to break the silence that had invaded the room.
"I belong with you, I didn't know it then, but it's always been that way,I've found you."