𝐥𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐳𝐞 - poetry

fateful may

that fateful may evening

8:47 at night

you sat there, across from me

we made mindless chatter, hoping to fill space between us

i knew what was happening

i looked down as soon as i saw tears well up in those green eyes of yours

it had become my favorite color

"so you're leaving"

those three words killed me

they still do

and they always will

i never wanted to leave you- it was never a choice

i kept my chin straight and my eyes forward as i slowly nodded

i'd known for weeks

and that fateful may slipped through my hands, morphing into june

we went swimming when the lightning bugs came out

we held long phone conversations deep into the night

but nothing can last forever

i held my breath during july

i couldn't even stay for the next thirty days-

i was lucky to get twenty

everything was about to be gone

the life i'd worked so hard to build

it wasn't mine anymore

july slipped away into august nights

surrounded by trees, covered by a roof that wasn't mine

i creep out and stare at the moon

are you seeing it too?

that fateful may

haunts me like a tattoo kiss

horrifyingly painful

but it's there forever

i frown as my life here slowly fades

a new routine, new people, new places

but every time I see that perfect shade of sage

or the delicate swoop of your lightish, brownish hair

my breath catches in my throat

because i keep hoping it's you

and it never is