The Fire We Started | Wildfire Series Book 2

FIFTY-THREE

"It isn't your fault, Caroline," I replied, trying to keep the exasperation out of my voice. I'd known she would feel this way, but I was running out of reassuring energy today.

"I told him," she cried softly, squeezing her fingers together. "About you. About everything. Everything he knew, it was because of me."

"You didn't know. He's—shit, he's fucking crazy."

Caroline looked like she wasn't sure if she wanted to hurl or cry, so I shook my head and opened my arms. I wasn't really an affectionate person outside of Madie, but this warranted an exception. Caroline needed to know that I didn't blame her. She was just as much a victim in this.

"Come here, Car."

That seemed to do it for her—the dam of tears released as she sprung up from her chair and wrapped her arms around me.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled into my shoulder. "I was so stupid, so blind. I can't believe—"

"You have nothing to be sorry about," I breathed, squeezing hard. "I'm sorry that you got dragged into this because of me."

She shook her head—I felt it—but didn't say anything more.

As I held Caroline, I glanced over her shoulder at Beau. He still faced the window. I could tell how tense he was even through his oversized sweatshirt.

It was surprising he hadn't turned around yet. That he hadn't said something...Beau-like. That he hadn't tried to lighten an impossibly dark mood.

"Beau," I said as Caroline released me.

He spun to face me as I walked in his direction, and his expression was grim. Eyes, red.

"It happened so—" He looked at the ceiling. "It happened so fast. I should have—"

Beau cut himself off with a grimace and ran a shaky hand through his jet-black hair.

I gritted my teeth, not sure what to say. His pain was palpable, just as much as Caroline's. But fuck, we could have avoided all of this.

"I told you to get her out of there," I said, keeping my voice low.

He shook his head like he'd known those words were coming. "I know, man. But you had a gun pointing at your goddamn face."

"I don't fucking care, Beau. It wasn't about me. So what if he was gonna shoot me? All I wanted was—"

"I knew it," he said, jabbing me in the chest with his pointer finger. "You're a shitty ass liar, Bren. I knew you didn't really know if he was gonna shoot you or not."

He wasn't wrong. After the conversation with Luke, I felt pretty confident that he wouldn't shoot me. But I was also pretty confident that my dad was psychotic and unpredictable. Most importantly, though, I really didn't want Madie and Beau to be there for any longer than they had to be.

"It didn't matter," I snapped, knocking his hand away from my chest. "What about that don't you get? Screw what happens to me. I needed you to be thinking about Madie."

"Shut the fuck up with that, Bren." Beau took a step toward me, his eyes wild in a way I'd never seen before. "I was thinking about Madie. What about that don't you get?"

I met his hard stare for a few seconds, not understanding.

"What the hell do you think would have happened to Madie if I'd pulled her away, and she had to watch you get shot?" he pressed when I didn't say anything. "Again."

He added the last word in a flat but sharp voice, and it sliced through me.

But still.

"At least she'd be alive," I emphasized.

"She is alive. Shit, I know she got hurt. And I really wish that hadn't happened, but she's alive."

I glared at him, not knowing how to back down but knowing that I should.

"Damnit, man." Beau sighed. "You two need to stop acting like you're fucking Romeo and Juliet or something. Stop sacrificing yourself before you get the chance to live, Bren. You don't need to be sun-crossed lovers or whatever."

I snorted. "Sun-crossed lovers? Really?"

Beau flung an exasperated hand in the air. "Yeah. That shit."

"It's star-crossed lovers," I muttered, cocking a smile.

"Same thing," Beau mumbled. "Fiery balls in the sky. You get the point."

I paused, not really sure if I did get the point.

I definitely didn't have any desire to be like Romeo; Beau was right about that. It wasn't like I wanted tragedy or heartbreak, but I also didn't want people's blood to be spilled for crossing into the territory of my enemy.

Maybe that did make me a little Shakespearean, but I couldn't help it.

"I'm sorry, Bren," Beau went on before I could finish processing. "I'm fucking sorry that I didn't see it coming. That I didn't get Madie away from him in time. I will always be sorry about that." He sighed, and I knew that he meant every word. Beau Martin didn't say shit he didn't mean. "But I'm not going to apologize for deciding to stay when your life was on the line."

I mimicked him by sighing and looking up at the ceiling, counting the tiles.

"I know you don't want to hear it, Bren—"

He was right; I didn't want to hear it.

"—but we all care about you."

He paused, waiting to see if I would say something. But I was too busy counting ceiling tiles.

"And listen," Beau continued, "you got involved with Madie because you were trying to keep her safe from an asshole ex. I mean, I practically shoved you out the door and into that role."

"Yeah, but it isn't like I didn't want it," I grumbled.

I wanted it—her—so fucking bad.

"I know," he agreed. "And because of that, I get why protecting and sheltering her from everything is your top priority. But you gotta move on from that now, man. Things are different. You and Madie are in this together. And I'm here, too. And Nessa. And Caroline. And even this fucking Grayson dude who offered to drive Madie all the way here to save your ass."

"Okay," I said, finally looking at him. His eyes were earnest. "Okay, Beau. I get it."

And I did.

I got it.

Wanting to retreat and escape from this conversation that made my eyes burn, I went to turn around. But then I paused. Stopped. I glanced back at Beau. Clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks, man," I said, meeting his gaze beat for beat.

Beau nodded.

I grimaced. "And I'm sorry."

"I don't want your apologies, Bren." He smiled genuinely. "Now get back to your girl," he said, shaking off my firm grip. "I didn't skip my afternoon seminar and drive her all the way here just for you to ignore her."

I laughed and grinned back at him. "Gladly."

Gladly.

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