Cursed ❣︎ {Spencer x Reader} ✔︎

𝕱𝖔𝖚𝖗𝖙𝖊𝖊𝖓

"How-how can I s-stay calm? I-I told you this would happen, who will be n-next?!" I panicked

"Ok, Y/n breathe for me, I need you to breathe" Hotch stated. I nodded and took slow, deep breaths.
"Do you want to go home"

"I don't know... I... I don't think... I'll stay here" I mumbled, I completely dissociated from the conversation after that.

I couldn't focus on anything, the buzzing in my head got louder and louder, I lost control of my body, my mind, my thoughts. I could have been screaming and crying running around the bullpen and I would have no idea.

I'm pretty sure I left Hotch's office and went back to my desk, because that's where I found myself when I was snapped back into reality.

"Fox?" Derek whispered crouching down in front of me.

"Hm?" I hummed looking up at him, suddenly feeling my face damp with what I can only guess was tears.

"Are you ok?" He asked, I nodded and looked away from him.

"I'm fine" I murmured

"Do you need me to get you anything? Or do you need to talk about whatever is upsetting you?" He asked, I shook my head. Derek took that as a sign, that I was not in the mood to talk and walked away.

𝙼𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝟸𝟹𝚛𝚍 𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚑 𝟸𝟶𝟶𝟿
𝟷𝟿:𝟺𝟻𝚙𝚖
𝙱.𝙰.𝚄, 𝙵𝙱𝙸 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚚𝚞𝚊𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚜, 𝚀𝚞𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚘, 𝚅𝚒𝚛𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚊

Time seemed to go so fast, when I spoke to Hotch it was morning and next thing I knew everyone was packing up getting ready to go home. So my day was pretty unproductive.

I know Hotch said, that Jessicas death could have nothing to do with me, but I thought otherwise. It seemed like too much of a coincidence to me.

And if it wasn't a coincidence that means that the whole team is in danger, including Spencer. Which sucks even more because I literally just realise I might be in love with him.

'Might be' is the wrong term, I meant definitely. I am completely, and utterly in love with Dr Spencer Reid, which sucks because this realisation couldn't have come at a worse time. I mean what the fuck do I do now.

I don't know why any of this is coming as a shock to me... I knew this would happen, because why would I ever get anything good in this world? Why would I ever get a chance at happiness?

Maybe it's self-centred of me to say this, but it's not fair, I didn't choose what family I was born into, maybe I chose to leave, but that was to do good in this world. So why is my life like this.

"Y/n..." Spencer whispered as he approached me.
"D-Do you need me to come over?"

"No... I need to be alone" I stated quickly standing up from my desk and grabbing my bag. I hurried out of the BAU.

꧁𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒅 𝑷𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏 𝑷𝒐𝒗꧂

"Hotch what happened with Y/n?" Spencer asked as everyone got into the elevator.

"I can't discuss that" Hotch replied.

"But Hotch whatever it was has affected her and I'm worried-"

"Reid! I can't discuss someone elses personal business" His boss interrupted looking over at Spencer sternly.
"If Y/n wants to tell you, then she will"

Spencer stepped forwards and stood right next to his boss.
"Is she safe?" He asked quietly so that no one else could hear.

"For now" Hotch replied as the elevator doors opened. Spencer sighed audibly and stepped out along with everybody else, there wasn't much else he could do.