✧AJR Imagines ✧

World's Smallest Violin

World's Smallest Violin
Adam

"Hey, are you ok?"
I place my hands on the couch beside me.
"Jack..."
"You're not sleeping, you have work piled up everywhere."
"If Grandpa fought it World War II, I can make it through college."
I'm lucky. Some of my relatives didn't even get to go to college. My problems are so small compared to theirs. My brother needs to see a therapist now, I can't let him know that I'm struggling too. It will be too much of a burden on him.

"Adam, listen to me. You need to stop overworking yourself."
I open my mouth to say something, but he interrupts me.
"You don't need to be like this with me. It's ok that you're not ok."
"JACK, IM FINE OK. DROP IT!"
I didn't mean to yell. He looks shocked. I can usually keep my cool, but he pushed me too far. Jack closes his eyes shut, and breathes in. He leans against the wall of my apartment and sits down.
"Don't lie to me. I can take it. I'm not 5 anymore."

I rest my head on the dark brown couch cushion.
"I'm sorry for yelling, I didn't mean to."
"Adam, it's fine, I get-"
"No Jack, no you don't. You don't get what it's like having to be a role model. If I let my guard down our family could unravel. I shouldn't even be discussing this with you."
He has a pained look on his face.
"Stop acting like this. You don't need to act tough for me."

My chest hurts a little. I just want this to be over, so I can get back to work. I feel like I'm about to blow up into smithereens.

"It's too much work, I feel like I'm dying. All the time. But I need to keep working. I just want to stop feeling like this."
I try to concentrate on the violin in the corner of my room. I like the way it curves, and the way the wood shines in the light. It helps me ground myself a little.
"Adam, I'm here for you no matter what. Let's talk."

For the rest of the day, I told Jack about how stressed college has got me, and some more specific things. For example, all the tests and projects I have due next week.
"You need to get more sleep. And I'm sure you can ask for extensions. Hey, we'll figure this out bud. And I got you this sweater."
He hands be a gray sweater that I slip on. It's warm and comfy, making me feel a little better.
"Thanks Jack," I say.

"Here, I'll make some challah french toast, and we can relax for the day."
I laugh.
"You forgot to hit the chhh."
"Oh shut up," he responds with a smile.
Today's gonna be a good day.