The night is cold. not as cold as it used to be in ambala. those days...he has no idea how or why but memories creep in. very slowly the make their place. sometimes it feels like ambala has embedded itself in his soul and mind. dreams and thoughts now and then take him back.
his cell phone chimes one more time. his mom has been calling him continuously since past one hour. he knows why she is calling him.
the engagement or what else!
preeti was a good girl. in fact she was way better than his fellow officer with whom he was set up on a date. Lt. rohini was not at all his type.
but neither was preeti.
he sighs. preeti tried her best, didn't she! she called him every night to check up on him, to start a conversation, she tried her best to involve herself with him. but it never happened. it was not like he never tried. he tried. he did his best. but when that day preeti complained it just put him off.
like the excuse he was seeking he got. suddenly he was aloof. he had no zeal left to involve himself with an immature girl like preeti.....
dr. shalini was way mature. the way she handled her personal and professional life smoothly she was a champion. she had solution of everything, medicine for every pain.......
yudi unlocks his phone and looks at his screen. his last pic with dr. shalini. she was genuinely happy. she was glowing like a full moon in dark night. dr. shalini just took away his serenity with her. and perhaps she herself has no idea about it...
He wonders how and when it happened. Why he let this happen. The pain is unbearable. And suddenly he sees nothing matters except his hardcore feelings. Why and when and how all these words are insignificant. He fell for her...hard and fast. Just like all other people out there who falls in love. He too loves someone. Very much. But irony is that person never tries to consider him. Not that he ever tried or proposed Dr Shalini but she never gave in. After their graduation he had come to see her with his heart in his hand but she refused to acknowledge. Her polite No was somewhere harsh. But it didnt stop him. After few months when they happened to meet again he like a gentleman took her out. He very politely explained him how bad he is whipped. He is totally into her. And now when they are not student teacher anymore at least she could think about it. A single chance...But Alas! Shalini took a flight. And it has been same since then. No matter how much he insisted her to just be bit considerate but she never did. he has no idea why she is in so denial. why she never wants to recognise his feelings. does she still think of him as feeble, gullible poor cadet yudi who was not able to stand up for himself? but he has come a long way. he dared love her and not only this he told her about his feelings many times. does this not make him more a man than anything? he is not same old yudi then what stops her. he never ever thought of all the prejudices society would have in mind regarding him and shalini. in fact he always put her in high place but what now.
the rejection is painful. he has seen not one but many of them. many of them....almost every time when he saw her he tried to make her understand of his feelings for it was not easy for him to act all macho and not convey his heart to her. he needed this. he needed this more than anything. his heart full of her could not be silent. he just could not contain his love sick soul like an ideal lover. he confessed. not once, not twice...but every time she just stood up and went away like whatever he said made no impact on her. why! it hurts if she wants to ever know. and hurt is increasing everyday. he is alone with his love that can not be reciprocated. will it heal him? not in this life time. it has made him tired. tired of everything. nothing makes him happy...nothing. seeking a way out he has unknowingly shut everyone out. the sweet old love has made him bitter. worse....and sick..
but not even this makes his heart to stop screaming one more chance. this posting in mount abu was his another blank shot in dark. he is getting tired of this. following her...trying to get in touch with her. many times when he is alone he is scared of losing her. not that he ever had her but the hope it dies everyday little by little. perhaps one day he will be able to face her, meet her and make her believe that he worshipped her the way no one ever did. his love for her has boomed everyday but now it is the end of spring.
perhaps he need leave this city. this place and do something that will make a stop to his feelings. he wants to shut his brain, his heart. something dangerous, something that will put his everything on stake...something that can consume whole of him...his every fibre worn out at the end of the day so that he never returns to forbidden alleys of love. the darkness there is scary now.
___________________________________________
'good evening sir.' rajveer
'good evening, captain. actually one of two officers who were to report has arrived.'
'but wo to do din baad aane wale the. sir'
'yes. captain. but this young man reported earlier.'
rajveer nods wondering who that person is. so enthusiastic about his duty.
he takes major' leave.
_________________________________
'lt yudi reporting sir.'
rajveer takes a turn. seeing his old student. a huge smile spread on his lips. he greets him with so zeal as its not everyday he gets see his old student. and not only this they both will be working together. rajveer offers him seat which he very polity takes.
'cadet, be at ease. i am same old rajveer. tum to aise behave kar rahe ho jaise main major nair hu.'
yudi smiles a little which doesnt reach his eyes. rajveer notices this. the old yudi is lost somewhere. he sees it and puts his finger on it. it is not so hard to miss when you've been with that person for some time pursuing his dreams, in his ups and downs as mentor. he offers him coffee which he politely denies.
'come on lt. senior ka order samajh kar pee lo. coffee hi to he. tum ruko main abhi do min me aaya.'
he runs inside to bre some coffee for both of them. when he returns yudi is till there with that same stiff professional posture. he doesnt ask a thing but enjoys his coffee with him reminiscing old days. some memories for him is still precious. very precious. however yudi's eyes show something else. a silent storm that is waiting to be unleashed...to destroy everything but destroying him before...
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He unloaded his luggage inside the army tent
And threw himself on the cot
It was a long tiring journey
But maybe it was his mental exertion that was more tiring.
He picked up his phone to have a quick check on anything important
Went through the group chat of six of them
The group name was changed into 'BC' with display pic of brigadier chandok
It was huda's work obviously
He gave a chuckle.
He scroll and saw another name
Tina Desai
'hey the weekend was fun
Wana catch up again sometime?"
Read the sms
He gave a sigh and blocked her number.
One night stand is supposed to be for a night.... doesn't it?
And to be honest meaningless sex is not that amazing as he use to think it is.
It's just like any other exercise
He kept the phone and grabbed his bag and pulled out a cigarette and the lighter
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Written by mona
Plz comment
So that I can learn about the active readers
Or we won't write further
