The Glass Scientists micro-fanfictions

An afternoon for doubt and reassurance

"I'm not a proper werewolf 'cause I was bitten and I wasn't even born one so I can't relate to them, and I'm not a proper scientist 'cause I don't know what I'm doing and everyone else looks like they do so I-"

"Jasper?"

"- Don't count and I'm not even a proper person anyways so I don't know if I can even count as a scientist, let alone a person so I-"

"Jasper." 

"- Don't deserve to be here! I'm just a fraud and I'm taking up the space that somebody else deserves far more than I do!"

"Jasper!" 

The werewolf did fall silent this time, although his breathing was still hitching audibly and in a way that would likely would have hurt in his throat if he kept it up for too long. Was that something that could trigger a full werewolf transformation? The man had no idea, werewolves had always been more of Henry's area - and no, he was most certainly not jealous, thank you very much - so he had never really had a reason to think too much about the subject. Robert Lanyon took a deep breath, the time it took for this breath was all the time he gave himself to wish that he was not the person stuck in this conversation, for while he would absolutely lament about it later, it was just as much his duty to keep the Society running smoothly as it was Jekyll's, and so this was expected of him.

"Jasper," the doctor repeated, hoping that he sounded as sure of himself as he could given that he felt quite the opposite of sure of himself, "You did not take anybody's place, and you do deserve to be here just as much as everybody else," he paused, trying to collect his thoughts as best he could, "I know that Henry," a beat passed before he corrected himself, "That Dr. Jekyll would not have brought you here if he did not see promise in you. He is an impeccable judge of character, you know?"

"But what if I tricked him into thinking that I was more capable than I am?" asked Jasper, who sounded far too convinced that what he was saying was very much the case, "Capable scientists don't get themselves infected by the things they're studying!"

"Oh, you'd be surprised," Lanyon returned flippantly, but perhaps with a touch of reassurance, as he was becoming more and more aware that he was not the best at reassuring people he did not know all that well he was feeling more than a little out of his depth, "And besides, he isn't that easily duped, so you're giving yourself more credit than deserved there but nowhere near the credit your work deserves."

"But-"

"Listen, Jasper, do you mind if I call you by your first name?" he paused as he waited for the young werewolf to nod or shake his head, "Jasper, everybody here has worked in their respective fields for years, but even then there is still times where they, even I, find ourselves doubting what we've done and what we can do," Robert was not all that used to speaking with such disgusting sincerity, but even with the clumsy nature of this he was not altogether as bad as he had assumed he'd be given just how out of practice he was at it. "I have never seen work like yours before, and frankly while it terrifies me and I would not like even one of your animals anywhere near me, I admire your work and the time you have dedicated to your research. Without a proper facility and equipment for the most part too, no less. Not everyone could achieve that."

His words hung in the air after he finished this. He very much hoped this meant that the other was thinking about what he had said rather than outright discrediting it. There was not a time in his immediate memory that he had spoken with such earnest, and so he very much hoped this was not going to be for nothing.

"Most people judge them, the creatures I mean, too harshly so they aren't willing to even try and learn about them," Jasper replied quietly, "They're more dangerous when you don't understand them, so I'm trying to make so that they do know, you know? Someone had to do it..." 

"Not someone," corrected the man with as much gentleness as he could, "You had to do it. I can't imagine anyone else out there that would care so deeply and work so hard to share your knowledge of the strange and unusual creatures that I know I personally would not have believed existed outside of fables. You're incredible, your work is incredible." 

"Do you really mean it?" asked the werewolf, blinking in a sort of bewilderment.

Thankfully, Jasper finally seemed to be almost willing to believe what he was being told. Robert could not help but wonder briefly if he would have been more willing to listen if Henry was there to reinforce what was being said, but given that Jekyll was not there, he would not be able to know with any real certainty but he had a sneaking suspicion that this would be the case. Jasper, he had noticed - but was still not jealous - seemed to have quite a fondness for the other doctor after all, and he could not blame him. 

"Of course, every word of it." promised Lanyon, and before he gave himself the chance to think and possibly reconsider what he was going to say, added, "Here's what I think we should do. How about you go and get your notes and we can go through them together? If you have anything you are having doubts over, we can work through it to get it to a standard you're more happy with."

With a nod that had far more enthusiasm than he had exhibited before, Jasper scurried himself out of the room. As his footfalls faded down the corridor, Robert let out a sigh, a sigh he had not realise was trapped in him for as long as it evidently was. He really did not know all that much about animals so he had no idea how he was supposed to help, but he was not going to go back on his word.