Daughter of England

Chapter 6. Matters of the Heart.

If two past lovers can remain friends, either they never were in love or they still are. - Unknown

Chapter 6.

Matters of the Heart.

"Carol. Carol. Carol!"

Carol looked at Dr. Morris. "Did you call my name, sir?"

"Several times in fact," Dr. Morris curtly replied. "What is the matter with you? I've never seen you so distracted before. I've got men that need attention, wounds to clean out and dress, medicine to be given out, and you keep soaring through a world of you own. Why, ever since that major appeared in this hospital you've been as fidgety as a frightened horse."

"I'm sorry, Dr. Morris, I promise I'll be more focused."

Dr. Morris peered at Carol through his spectacles. "What was your connection with the major?"

"I told you, I was acquainted with him in London."

Dr. Morris narrowed his eyes. "Just acquainted with him? If I didn't know better, I'd say you were somehow more intimately connected."

Carol sighed. Was she really that easy to read? "Well, if you must know once upon a time we were engaged."

"Were? He ended the engagement?"

Carol looked down and a tear escaped her eye. "No, I ended it."

"YOU ended it?" Dr. Morris stared at her in disbelief. "You put an end to what must have been a very beneficial match?"

"I'm not expecting anyone to understand," Carol focused her gaze on the floor. "It happened right before I left for Scutari. I wanted to be a nurse, but he was against the idea. In Eric's eyes, a woman of society has no place in a common, dirty hospital. He told me if I wanted to be his wife I had to give up nursing, but I couldn't give it up so chose not to be his wife. I broke his heart when I did it; he really had his hopes set on me. Oh, and what is more doctor, that choice broke my heart as well. I didn't let it show back then, but I had my hopes set on him. I sincerely wanted him to support me in my desire, but he is of the same opinion as my father. In their eyes, a young lady of good family should not work or hold an occupation, especially in a military hospital. When I realized this I thought perhaps it would be easier for me to just do away with the idea of marriage entirely, but now that we have ended up together in this hospital and I am finding it very confusing and difficult. I acted off of impulse and now I think I am beginning to wonder if I perhaps I should have handled it differently. You see, I kept the fact that I was planning to be a nurse a secret for more than a year, and this knowledge really hurt him. Maybe it would have been easier if I had slowly let him get used to the idea instead of suddenly presenting him with the facts." Carol gave a frustrated shrug of her shoulders.

Dr. Morris gently took Carol's hand, and he gazed at her with an uncharacteristic show of sympathy. "Perhaps you should talk to him?"

"Oh, I don't know, it could be very embarrassing. With my thoughts in such confusion I wouldn't know what to say to him without it sounding very silly."

"Now, now, you are not the only one in a state of confusion. I'll wager he's not having it so easy himself, worse even. After all, apart from the shock of finding out you are here, the poor man just lost his sight. Tomorrow I'll send you to go change his bandages and inspect his wounds for infection. If you feel bad about how you so abruptly ended the engagement, this will be the perfect time to make it right. Take it from someone who is older and wiser than you, Carol, with matters of the heart it is best to get it out into the open instead of bottling it all inside of you. Now," Dr. Morris switched back to his crusty old self, "there are several men who need their bandages changed, so I want you to go about your work. Remember, if there is anything serious, report to me at once."