today i spent the whole day with my best friend since a while. I've been through a lot with him and he's had my back for everything i could think of and I appreciate him sm. But something he said just rubbed me the wrong way today. We took several instagram video together and he posted a story of me. To which he got a story reply from a friend, in which he told me that she thought i was pretty and that she wants to meet me one day. And i said ofc when and where? And he proceeded to tell me it was online which had all my inside cringe the second he said that, because of past experiences. He proceeded to tell me that it wasn't the first time he's sent pictures of me to this girl and she constantly minimized herself and started to compare herself to me. Later telling me that he met her through her instagram story when she was crying out for help that she didn't feel pretty enough etc. Which literally made me so confused, and i felt rlly bad for her. First of all, comparing yourself to someone- like the most common feature she mentioned was my "slim" waist - she was slightly larger. Which made me cringe internally because I've always struggled with my weight and feeling confident in general. Agh my thoughts are a mess but im just overall thinking that everyone has insecurities- and that instead of making goals for ourselves to feel more comfortable with our bodies we minimize and limit ourselves. Its human, but it feels so lonely. Like we're the only ones in the world that have the insecurity or that the people we idealize won't ever have to worry about that one feature on their body. Ironically- my waist and weight has always been my worst insecurity. And when i saw a picture of this girl i literally melted bc i loved her body type so much and i could never understand why she'd ever wanna change it. Literally plus sized models give me so many wholesome and happy vibes, bc unlike skinnier models they just love themselves for the ideal they want and not what magazines like playboy wants. Agh this probably doesnt make sense at all but yea that's what rants are for. Also proofreading sucks and all these thoughts and words are fresh ✌🏻 also johnny is spamming me for attention and i miss him jgkvkfkfkf sucks I cant rant and text him at the same time xd sorry bubs ❤️
