Chasing Butterflies

Can't Let You Go

In the days that followed he was all I could think of.  I would go from smiling at the memory of his cute smile and how his eyes disappear in his mirth to a sobbing mess pounding my mattress in pure frustration and sorrow.   I blamed my self for doubting him.  Those days I thought he had just ghosted me.  I laughed a maniacal crazy sound thinking he was a ghost.

Sometimes I even wished I had never met him.  In the end, all he gave me was sorrow and pain.  But his sweetness would come to me again in a dream, like he was there with me.  I would dream of scenarios with him not of my conscious thought but more from the ether of the love left behind.  At times I felt like it was really him.  Like I was continuing my relationship with him only now it was through my dreams.  

Each day I spent more time in bed than I did awake.  Yet I was constantly tired.  I just wanted to lay in my bed and think of him.  I couldn't let him go.  The attachment was too great.  I was slowly killing myself.  Nothing had meaning so I thought it was best to die and join him.  

I left my home taking one last look around like I would never see this place again.  I walked till my legs ached but I had finally reached my destination.  With my last bit of strength I climbed the stairs leading to the elevated train platform.  It was a windy night and my hair wiped in my face momentarily covering my view of the glittering skyline.  There were very few people around to even notice the tears rolling down my cheeks.  I imagined my twisted body as my soul left it behind.  It spurred me closer to the edge.  My body was wasting away to nothing and nothing held my here. I wanted my pain to end.  I took one step closer to the end.

That's when I felt him.  Not the soul of my dear departed love but the person I was meant to be with.  He pulled me back literally and held me in his arms.  My heart pounded in my chest.  I had been so close to dying.  My heart raced mocking my mind cause it wanted to live.  Some how this person knew my intention.

When I finally calmed down I felt his bruising hug turn to a gentle touch.  Slowly and rhythmically bringing me to match his breath.  I don't know how long we stood there.  The trains came and went but they didn't take my soul.  

He took my hand in his warm one and led me down the steps walking away from my pain.  I looked into his warm eyes, kind and haunting.  

"I've been there," he said, "if you want to talk, I'm here."

"Who are you," I said, "Are you an angel?"

He smiled.  A beautiful boxy smile.  "I'll tell you all about me, if that's what you want, but first, let's get some food.  I'm starving.  What do you say?"

I stood there thinking there was nothing to lose.  He was there when I needed someone the most.

"Sure, I'd like that."

And that is how I met my savior, my prince and the love of my life.

                                                                                ~ The End  ~

There comes a time
A time in everyone's life
Where nothing seems to go your way
Where nothing seems to turn out right
There may come a time
You just can't seem to find your place
And for every door you open
Seems like you get two slammed in your face

That's when you need someone
Someone that you, you can call
When all your faith is gone
And it feels like you can't go on
Let it be me
Let it be me
If it's a friend that you need
Let it be me
Let it be me

Feels like you're always coming up last
Pockets full of nothing and you got no cash
No matter where you turn you ain't got no place to stand
You reach out for something and they slap your hand
Now, I remember all too well
Just how it feels to be all alone
You feel like you'd give anything
For just a little place you can call your own

That's when you need someone
Someone that you, you can call
When all your faith is gone
It feels like you cant go on
Let it be me
Let it be me
If it's a friend you need
Let it be me
Let it be me
Let it be me
Let it be me
If it's a friend you need
Let it be me
Let it be me, let it be me

Source:

Songwriters: Raycharles LaMontagne

Let It Be Me lyrics © BMG Rights Management