from here the way leads to the stars

(1.) so close, so far

we all took our places as the orchestra began setting up to play the wedding melody. this was our dream wedding. every aspect was ideal for my soon to be wife, Nicole, and i. she was one of those hopeless romantics that had been planning her dream wedding since she was 10 years old. although i didn't do the same, i loved the ideas she had already drawn up, further proving to me i was meant to be with her forever.

the doors creaked open to reveal a late wedding guest, my heart fell out of my chest once i recognized the face. it was hard to scan over Thalia, i mean come on, she was the only person in the chapel wearing all black. vibrant dyed blue hair and icy blue eyes to match. a small curved nose, plastered with freckles, and plump lips. i told her often i believed she was hand carved by the gods. but that was almost 7 months ago. why is she here?

Thalia strutted down the isle and took her seat in the second row. her threatening gaze stabbed into my eyes as she slightly raised her hands and waved hello to me.

fuck. me.

i met Thalia on a chilly day in September. i wasn't too far from my home city of Morgantown, West Virginia, where Nicole and i agreed to settle down in a small 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom home a few months after we became official. i was up in Rochester, New York, only a 5 hour drive from home, for business. i tend to spend at least 3 days every month in a hotel across from a local family owned coffee shop i stopped at every time i left my room. Thalia was working the register my second trip there. once her eyes looked into mine, i hate to say it but i forgot Nicole existed, despite the promise ring that rested on my finger. she had gifted to me for my birthday that had just passed in early August. i wrote down my name and number on the receipt she had me sign. she was under me in my hotel room not even 2 hours later. i was late for my second meeting that day. the few angry glances i got from my superiors didn't have me regret my actions, though. anything was worth it to see her eyes roll back again as she arched her back.

we saw each other every month for the next 2 years, it didn't end well. she fell for me, and when she found out i had a fiancée, she gave me a death glare i will never be able to forget, then slammed the hotel room door behind her. this is the first time i've seen her since then.

the music started, and i snapped out of my Thalia trance and faked a smile. Nicole walked down the isle, practically radiating sunshine all around her. once i saw her, i couldn't take my eyes off of her. this is why i couldn't leave her for Thalia, Thalia was just an empty void i needed filled for those 3 days a month. a stress reliever after tough meetings, simply a toy. i'll admit, i treated her as more, i guess her transition from lust to love was my fault.

Nicole got to me as held my hands. the pastor spoke out the famous phrase, "speak now, or forever hold your peace." and my heart shattered all over again once i saw Thalia begin to stand.

there goes my happy ending.