Deep Waters

Chapter Fifty-Eight

"Sit with me?" Jay asked me, his voice breaking.

I didn't hesitate and only sighed before I dropped the wet, dark-red blanket in the puddle and plopped down beside my friend. Many minutes passed as we sat in silence. Jay's condition was only worsening. It was impossible to hide my worry. I knew Kason felt the same as I, but at least he was better at hiding it.

"Was that Daniel on the phone?" he asked me after a while.

I shivered in the chilly air. This place didn't have much of a heating system. That, and I guess I hadn't been eating much lately. "Yeah. Charles broke Sam out of jail," I informed him. "Or at least we think that's what happened. He's probably heading here as we speak. Or at least figuring out where I am if he doesn't already know."

He breathed and nodded in return, clearing his throat before taking a deep, struggled breath. "You should call Kason."

I shook my head. "No. He would only freak out and rush here to me immediately...Him getting here any earlier wouldn't do anything. I'll tell him whenever he comes back."

"Is Kason always that protective of you?" Jay asked me. "I remember him being quite eager to get to you when I picked him up from the airport," he spoke with a childish grin.

I just nodded and mimicked his smile. Kason was sometimes a lot, with him being just as protective as my brother, but I loved him for it. "Yeah. He is."

For a long moment, there was just silence between us and I ended up believing that he wasn't going to respond. "I'm envious of you being in love with Kason," Jay finally admitted after a while. Furrowing my eyebrows, I looked over at him, wondering why in the world he would be jealous of our relationship. "I wish that was one thing I could experience before I die," he admitted to me before I could ask any further questions. "Being in love with a girl who loved me back...I bet that's a feeling indescribable."

All I could do was stare at him with wonder. "You're right," I confirmed. "It's completely indescribable." I didn't know what to say anymore so I didn't say anything at all.

"How different do you think things would have been if you and Kason weren't together?"

I furrowed my eyebrows again at him. Like generally? "What do you mean?"

"Would anything have ever happened between you and me?"

I looked away from him, not wanting to look him in the eye anymore. How could I know? My eyes and brain were always on Kason. I couldn't even consider looking at another guy the same way I do him. He was everything I could ever want and more. No other person filled that requirement for me. "I don't know, Jay. You know I can't know that for sure...I don't know what you want me to say."

"I think something could have," he replied, not paying my answer any attention. "I mean, under the circumstances...I was practically your knight in shining armor, yeah? I was there when you needed someone. Even when Kason wasn't around to be there for you, I was. I've been here. I've been here every second since we've met."

My heart was suddenly pounding and I was feeling all kinds of discomfort from this conversation. "You have been there for me. And I owe you my life at this point," I admitted. "I'd probably be dead if it wasn't for you helping me. I'd at least be in a completely different situation."

The silence between us was deafening. I turned my head to see if I could tell what he was thinking, but as soon as I did, I found his face just a couple of inches from mine. Our breaths mingled together. What the heck was he doing? Just as I realized what was happening and he started leaning even closer, to separate the little bit of distance left between us, I jumped back and looked away from him. He just tried to kiss me. I hadn't misinterpreted that, right? There was no other way to interpret that. Maybe there was something on my cheek and he was getting a closer look to make sure it was just a freckle. And not a bug. He was just making sure a freckle wasn't a flea. Right? No.