Dipper walked into the abandoned asylum, searching for the shapeshifting Jesus lizard whuch was rumoured to live there. He saw it scamper into a large dusty flowerpot of orchids.
"Ah-ha!" He leapt up and pushed aside the orchids to discover a hole, big enough for two adults to fit into it. A flap like a door swung on relatively new and recently oiled hinges. He had no time to ponder on that as the orchids started snapping at him.
"Ahhhh!" Diper shrieked and tripped backwards landing on his back, scattering dust in clouds.
"Friend or Foe?" The dulcet-toned orchids asked mysteriously.
"ahh... Neither?" He replied hesitantly while getting up and brushing himself off.
Flames leapt out from the orchids' middles/ mouths with a dramaticized game-like voice booming "You shall not pass!"
He leapt back with a yelp as dust from the beds, the flowerpots, the walls, the ceiling ... practically everywhere! gathered to form a huge grey hand and pushed him out as the doors closed behind him. Then the dust from the huge hand seeped back into the building.
Dipper dusted himself off (again) and headed home for reinforcements.
..................
Mabel was fangirling over magazines with Candy and Grenda when Dipper burst into the house.
"Mabel! Mabel! I need your help!"
"mmm-hmm."
"I went to the abandoned asylum--"
"The Crazy House?" Candy piped up.
"What?" Mabel looked up.
"People say it has ghosts of tortured people there, you know," Grenda said in her deep voice, closing the magazine.
"Ghosts..." Candy said creepily.
"Why do you need our help?" Mabel asked, crossing her arms on the table.
"'Our'?"
"If I'm going, they're coming too!" Mabel said.
"All right, whatever." Dipper threw his hands in the air in a 'I'm too tired to argue with you' gesture.
"Yay!" The three girls cheered. Dipper was already headed to the door.
......
"Woah..." the girls exclaimed.
"Everybody stay qui---" Dipper was interrupted by the fire-spitting orchids.
"Sooo? Have you made up your miind?" They asked creepily.
"Uh, Yeah!" Dipper said in a false cheerful voice.
"WHat is it?!" The orchids boomed. They cowered in terror.
"Friend!" Mabel said boldly.
"... Hmm, I like this one. She may enter." The orchids parted. Mabel jumped in. The others started to follow, but the orchids breathed fire at them and they leapt back screaming.
"heh.. Do sonething amusing. Pine Tree, do the Lammy Dance."
"Pine Tree!? Lammy Dance!? Bill is that you? Let my sister go!!" Dipper yelled and at first jumped back in fear, then seeing that the orchids were not doing anything like becoming a crazy dorito, ran forward to try and strangle them. They made his clothes catch fire. He ran in circles and beat it out.
"Pine Tree! Control yourself! I am not Bill. I work for The Owl. Your hat has a pine tree on it, if you didn't know. Duh. But watching you scream and run around in circles has amused me. You and your companions may enter."
Dipper looked back at Candy and Grenda. They nodded and jumped into the hole together.
Dipper watched the orchids get smaller and smaller as they fell slowly.
"Oof." They landed on a rug. Dipper looked around. Mabel was hitting on a tall guy in a greenish trenchcoat who looked uncomfortable in a corner near the fireplace. They were in a warm, stylish and cozy room with many bookshelves and tables and chairs and a TV.
"Sage, Bill, no fighting. Ah, you've got through Petals, I see." A woman/teen in a hoodie with diamond-shaped earphones and even diamond-shaped eyes was suddenly standing next to them. They jumped.
She held out her hand. "You may call me Aramis. The Owl. I am the owner of this café. I am pleased to meet you all. Have some tea," she said, pouring them each a cup of fragrant Earl Grey tea.
