by the sidelines • haechan

twenty seven

"At least use a proper target next time you want to vent, the wall doesn't deserve this treatment." He tapped the circle plastered in the middle of the hard target. "Aren't you gonna continue?"

Part of me wanted to leave and escape to someplace to be alone because I currently have no mood to talk to anyone, but I still had anger left in me that needed to exit my body fast. And the swelling on my right foot threatened to bleed if I continued torturing the wall. Guess I had no choice.

Without a word, I swung my leg up to the target, impacting with a sharp sound that echoed throughout the cylindrical stairwell. I pulled back and repeated the action, gradually gaining momentum as the similar feeling of satisfaction washed in me again. Less painful too, of course.

After quite a number of times, I signalled to switch legs, to which Donghyuck complied silently. Now, with my non-swollen foot, I followed the same motions mindlessly but with greater strength, convincing myself that the remaining resentment will rid itself the harder I kick.

I let my energy drain voluntarily throughout the whole activity and soon enough, my legs gave way and I stumbled to the floor, heaving out a huge sigh of contentment. A hand stuck right in my face as I follow its arm up to the owner's face, which was still as indifferent as to when he stopped me from hurting myself further. I grabbed his hand reluctantly and he helped me to the staircase, where we sat down in silence.

"Your kicks feel stronger today, maybe you should get angry more often," he joked. Maybe my wrath had depleted most of my energy or I still didn't feel like talking, but the only reply I could manage was a scoff of disbelief. I felt his eyes on me as he continued, "Anything on your mind?"

Heat rose in me again as I gritted my teeth. "I'm surprised he didn't tell you, you guys are practically joined at the hip." My words came out as a murmur, but were still audible enough for him to hear. I could see his smirk at the corner of my eye, and I almost threw a punch at him.

"I'm not talking about that," he explained and I glanced at him in curiosity, "Is there anything else on your mind that you need to get out? The target is all yours." He raised the red cushion in one movement and I couldn't help but feel a surge of comfort. I shook my head quietly as he exhaled, "Good, I was getting tired."

That ending comment made me furrow my eyebrows as I turned to him in suspicion. "Don't you have a match?" Those may be the first few words to escape my dry mouth after what seemed like an hour. To make it worse, the dying commotion in the gym made my parched voice bounce around the walls, causing me to wince a little.

Donghyuck shrugged. "I knocked out my opponent so it ended early." He said it as if it had happened countless times before, in a prideful tone that I absolutely hated, especially during a time like this. He seemed to have noticed it, because he lowered his voice and continued, "Then I saw you leaving in a haste and followed. Didn't know you'd harm yourself like that."

His voice was a mixture of nonchalance and sympathy, the combination forcing an explanation out of my mouth. "Funny how you'd think that, it's just soothing to take my anger out of something inanimate."

Silence fell upon us immediately after I said that, which gave me a chance to notice our different sitting positions. Donghyuck was basically sprawled on the stairs like it was his own home, his arms rested on the steps behind and his legs straightened out in front of him. Meanwhile, I was almost curled into a ball, my feet placed one step below where I was sitting with my arms resting on my knees, my hands droopy between them. One could easily tell the difference between our confidence levels.

"Look," he suddenly started, causing me to flinch, "I'm not one to comfort others or anything, but Haknyeon probably didn't mean what he did, even though it was utter bullshit." I glanced at him briefly as he focused on the handrail beside him. "But it's not something you should dwell upon."

I let his words sink in, mix around in my chest, before regurgitating it out as a laugh. "Both of you do indeed have each other's backs," I muttered as I finally met his eyes that were filled with confusion. I don't know why that slipped out of my mouth, but it was an honest opinion.

He stared at me while awaiting a further explanation, but I bit my tongue in order not to say more. I don't need to spill all my insecurities to him. When I didn't respond, he heaved out a sigh.

"Anyway, what matters is that you did well." My heart did a triple axel in my chest with his sudden compliment, before it came crashing down with his next words. "But you made lots of petty mistakes, so it's something to work on." Of course, he had to add those remarks, but for once I agree with him.

"I know," I sulked, a late feeling of disappointment filling in me as I recounted my match. I guess my opinion on my performance also made me more sensitive because suddenly that whole betting thing seemed trivial as compared to other problems I had. Now I feel bad for exploding at Haknyeon.

The muffled sound of a loudspeaker could be heard from outside, and both of us knew exactly what that meant. Donghyuck was the first to his feet, his body half facing me as he revealed, "We better get back before Coach Lee notices we're gone." He started walking towards the exit, but there was still something I didn't manage to say yet.

"Thanks for this," I said, causing him to stop in his tracks. I hugged the target and stood up, but didn't dare inch closer to him. "I really appreciate it."

He looked over his shoulder and grimaced, "Don't make this cliche, I just don't want to lose a training partner." He took another step but halted, turning to me as he nodded at the door. "Let's go."

---

Both of us re-entered the gym to everyone gathering in front of the two coaches, and we quickly settled down behind the rest of them.

"First of all, I would like to thank everyone here for participating so actively," Imoogi Club's coach, whose name I found out was Coach Hwang, announced as everyone subconsciously applauded. Once they've quietened down, he continued, "Since this is a friendly match, there are no winners or losers, but I hope all of you gained a valuable experience."

I side-glanced Donghyuck, remembering his compliment about my performance as a small smile formed on my face. I guess his way of praising others does prove effective.

"Lastly, I'd like to thank both clubs for this great opportunity and let's hope to meet on the mats again." Coach Lee ended off and everyone stood up to shake hands with each other. I scanned around for the girl I competed against, eventually finding her at the back of the crowd chatting with a small group of players. I barely managed to squeeze through the knot of people before coming into her view, startling her as I reached out my hand.

"Thanks again." I smiled as she took my hand and shook it with the same expression. I managed to catch a glimpse of the name sewn onto her uniform. Kim Hyunjin.

"Hope to see you on the mats," she replied gleefully, before being called by her teammates and disappeared back into the crowd. She didn't seem like she experienced the cutthroat environment of competitions yet, but I applaud her optimism.

One thing for sure, it wasn't empty words when I replied, "Me too."