VIII. JUST A KISS

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"Agreed. He's annoying," Jasmine said.

James looked at her weirdly. "And who was talking to you?"

She smacked the back of his head and scoffed, "Don't be an ass. Reg is my best mate, remember?"

"You stole Pete, Remus and Sirius from me anyways, they love you more than me," James said. Regulus agreed.

Jasmine squeezed herself in between the two of them and put her arms around them both.

"Whatever you've got going on here, buddies or some shit, is all because of me. I'm the reason you two become soulmates or whatever. Thank me."

And then she stood up and made her way to the kitchen to get them all beers.

***

For the rest of the day, until Euphemia and Fleamont came back home, the three spent it roaming the house and watching the snow from outside.

Jasmine was in her room that evening looking through her old childhood photographs when Regulus knocked on her door.

"May I come in?" he asked, leaning on the doorway and smirking.

"Yeah," she replied, not taking her eyes off the photographs.

He walked in and sat on her messy bed. She felt quite embarrassed that he was seeing her like this. Her hair was in a messy bun, she had her reading glasses on and all she had pajama bottoms and a hoodie on.

"Is that you?" he asked, picking up a picture of her as a newborn baby. She laughed and covered her face from embarrassment.

"Yeah, it's me when I was born," she giggled. She passed him another one: it was her and James as little kids. They had matching raincoats.

Regulus' mouth dropped.

"Wow, you two looked so alike," he laughed. "Are you identical?"

"Actually, no. We are not," Jasmine said. "I didn't believe it, but we are not identical twins. Weird."

Regulus nodded. "Yeah, you look identical. Even now."

She shrugged.

"Oh, gosh, I feel so embarrassed now," she laughed, laying back onto the headboard of her bed. "You've seen me as a baby and little kid. What's next?"

"Stories from your mum," Regulus said, a jerk smile forming on his face. "Joking ... or am I?"

She playfully smacked his arm, laughing. She didn't want to think about it but he made her laugh like no one else did. Even Caspian didn't make her this happy.

She collected the pictures together again and tucked them back into the box. Then, they just sat in silence. She fiddled with her bed covers and he was blowing hair out of his face.

He turned to face Jasmine and just stared into her eyes. She stared back.

He caught her hair in his hands and tucked a lock behind her ear. She blushed and smiled at him. The silence was deafening.

"Ah, fuck it."

Without hesitation, Regulus brought his face to hers and their lips connected. For a few seconds, Jasmine was in shock, but she kissed him back. She brought her hand up to his arm, shoulder, neck and rested it in his hair. She parted her lips and he let his tongue escape into her mouth.

Her breathing was heavy and he could feel her heart beating. Her hand was now getting tangled in his hair and he was holding her jaw with his hand.

She pulled off him and ran her fingers down his hair. She shaped his face with her hand, spending the most time on his lips. They didn't break eye contact at all.

She shut her eyes and sighed slowly.

"Regulus, I'm sorry. I can't."

And she kissed his head before slipping off her bed and out of her room in silence.

"Damn it," he muttered to himself. He put his head in his hands again. "Damn it!"

Why did he always mess shit up? Did he expect her to forgive him and go through with it? Did he actually think she was going to let him fuck her?

His best friend! And he thought. Even for a second.

He left her room and shut the door behind him. Maybe .. maybe he just needed sleep. Maybe the whole kiss was a hallucination ... or a dream?

He heard muffled voices coming from James' room and he couldn't help but creep round the corner to see.

His heart dropped when he saw Jasmine crying. James had his arms around her, holding her tightly, and she was crying into his chest.

"I don't understand him, James. When I finally think I've gotten over him and like another boy he decides to kiss me," she mumbled. "It's not fair on me."

"I know, Jas. But if you ask me, I think he's always liked you the same way. He was the one that kissed first," James said.

She sniffed. "Yeah, well, if he did, he could've made it a lot clearer and not hook up with every other girl in the school."

"I dunno, Jasmine. But I know what it looks like when a boy is head over heels for a girl. And this — this is a pretty good example ..."

Jasmine nodded and sniffed again. She wiped her tears and smiled at James.

"Thank you. For being there for me and shit," she sniffled. "I don't say it enough, but I appreciate you."

"And — er — don't forget to tell him about Mum and Dad's Ministry Christmas Party on Christmas Eve," James said, suddenly remembering.

"Oh. I'll tell him in the morning."

Before she could leave James' room, Regulus rushed back to his and went into his bed, pretending to be asleep.

He heard her footsteps outside his door, but they stopped, and she was walking into his room. She sat on his bed and sighed.

She thought he was asleep ...

"I just wish you'd know," she mumbled. She was still crying.

Jasmine stroked his hair and put a kiss on his head.

"Goodnight. I —" she took a deep breath in. "I — goodnight, Reg."

***

author's note:

i hate myself for this. i am so sorry readers. this was so hard to write.

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