love me underneath the willow tree

another day

Tangled up in the sheets, lay a scrawny girl with matted hair. She looked fragile, one wrong move and she'd break apart. But her appearance was nothing compared to her on the inside. I feel like shit. Wanting to stay smothered in the sweaty sheets forever, she knew better than to risk it. Thundering footsteps drew near and the girl jumped from her sleepy daze turning into a shaking mess. Fumbling with her sheets trying to make the bed with her fingers shaking as the familiar feeling of nausea crept into her stomach. The footsteps became slower and more exaggerated as if the person causing them meant to inflict fear and suspense. The door flung open, and the girl supressed a flinch.

is he in good mood? stop being so pathetic. why are you such a push over. don't let him stomp all over you. can you read his expression? am i going to vomit? Despite her racing mind the girls face fell into a blank expression, her eyes piercing into the man in front of her. "i made breakfast, seening as you didn't wake up," said the man with a sinister smile. Unwanted guilt started to swarm in the girls stomach, but she quickly pushed it away. two can play at that game. "thank you," her tone sickly sweet. Trying to make an exit before things escalated a cold hand grabbed her wrist making her freeze. "Let go of me Nick," she hissed. Nick edged closer to her his stale breath meeting her neck "you walking of thin ice Ashley," said nick, his words dipped in venom, making making her squirm under his tight grip. When nick left the room Ashley collapsed on the floor letting all the breaths she held come out.

After cleaning herself up Ashley made her way downstairs her feet treading lightly with each step. She saw her mum, her eyes drooping as if fighting to stay awake, her eyes travelled to Ashley mustering a small smile. Still startled from the events that took place upstairs her eyes were glued to nick who was sipping his coffee and staring at the tv, relived at the preoccupied nick, Ashley went to the cupboard reaching for a glass. A fist banged on the table causing the already jumpy Ashley to drop the glass. Fear took over her face and she became pale she started fumbling with the broken pieces as if trying to put the glass back together  "sorry sorry i- it just slipped sorr-,"  her apologies were cut of my an infuriated nick "What the fuck Ashley, you cant even get a fucking glass without making a mess of things," she flinched as his words cut deep "You really are worthless you know that right, so selfish we were having a nice family breakfast before you came you should have just stayed upstairs." She knew she wasn't wanted she knew that she always ruined everything, she hated herself for it. Cutting of her thoughts was the excruciating pain of being yanked up from the ground  by her hair "ARE U A FUCKING MUTE, TELL ME ASHLEY CAN U FUCKING TALK." Forced right up close to nick's face she could see the veins bulging on his forehead. A lump formed in her throat stopping her from talking. "i-," her cheek stung as nicks hand made contact."Nic-," started Ashley's mother. "Shut up Amelia, this girl needs to learn," he said in an attempt to justify his actions . He let go of her hair, Ashley falling to the floor. A foot met her stomach causing her to groan out in pain. "I need a smoke," he muttered  before heading out slamming the door behind him.

Ashley's mother rushed over to her crouching beside the heap of a girl on the floor. A deep sigh left her mouth. "Why'd you have to go and make him angry Ash," said her mum, not bothering to keep the annoyance out of her tone. "Sorry mum i-it slipped." A hand reached out to touch Ashley's stomach, causing her in wince. "that's gonna leave a bruise," uttered her mum as if Ashley was at fault. She lifted up Ashley placing her on a chair, started to clean the broken glass. Ashley couldn't help but feel partly responsible for her mothers misery. if i wasn't around she could be happy with Nick. i knew nick wasn't fond of the idea of living with a kid, but he took me in for my mum's sake he really loves her. its my fault . why am i like this. "ASHLEY," she had been too engrossed in her thoughts to notice her mum was calling her. "huh ohh yes mum." "Shouldn't you be getting ready for school," reminded her mum. Urgency washed over her face "oh shit school," "language young lady," she remarked. "Oh yeah sorry mum," mumbled Ashley stumbling up the stairs.

Picking out outfits was an ordeal Ashley liked to avoid; sadly it was inevitable. She felt like nothing quite fit right, whatever 'right' meant. Feeling exposed in anything that showed her skin she settled for a long sleeve turtle neck and baggy joggers. if only i could cover my face aswell. Contemplating whether she should wear a hoddie she heard the growl of Nick called her name. "get the fuck down here ashley." Jumping at his harsh tone Ashley didn't even have time to pack her bag. "I SAID GET THE FUCK DOWN HERE" Rushing down the stairs with her constant anxiety ridden face came Ashley.