Select Works

To Understand

This is a poem I wrote half for myself and half for Thea.

I never wanted
To stay. I always wanted
To run away. You
See, it is easier to
Be alone among strangers.

I am drowning. I
Am starving. I want to run
Away. I am drowned
In false affection, starved of
Honest love, should be happy.

It has been said that
To love is to understand.
No one understands.
They understand so little
My pain looks like contentment.

But you are not them.
Please, tell me you understand.
Tell me I do not
Misinterpret your kindness,
Your honest words, your smile.

The false pretenses
Are suffocating. Can you
Help me run away?
Would I be safe with you? Please,
Tell me that I'm safe with you.

You look at me and
I want to trust you. Can I?
I'm not good at this.
You could do better. Why me
And not someone else? Why me?

People like me don't
Get to love people like you.
People like me run,
We're forever foreigners.
You are the comfort of home.

Is that why you make
Me want to stay? I never
Wanted to stay. It
Scares me. I wish I could make
You happy. I want to try.

I run because no
One understands. If there is
No one around to
Misunderstand then I can
Be happy, right? But alone.

I do not want to
Run away, to be alone
Anymore, not when
I could be with you. Can I
Be with you? It's all I want.

Your smile makes me
Want to smile, even when
I forget how to.
Your words, so honest, I wish
I could hold them in my hands.

They say to love is
To understand. I'm content
In no one ever
Understanding, so long as
I have you.

Written March 2021