Silence of Tears

[19]

"Oppa are you excited to my lovelife? By the way her name is Irene but I call her Joohyun, Hyun, and Bunny it's cute right even it just a name" I said and lie down on the grass and make my hand as a pillow and close my eyes.

"I was about to ask her after graduation if I can court her but I think it's wrong timing I thought I already have courage I am too shy  about this because it's my first time." I said.

"Oppa you know she's so beautiful like her eyes, nose, her beautiful lips and her smile I like her baby hands it's cute. The simple move of her my heart will beat so fast she's perfect aphrodite to be describe. Oppa do you know how crazy I am when I search how to get Bae Joohyun then there is nothing coming out so maybe this is my own problem to make her mine" I said and open my eyes to the night sky with a beautiful stars and moon that made me smile.

"Are still listening Oppa" I sigh "Oppa I will drink this chocolate milk that I give to you I am thirsty talking my life to you. You won't mind right you love baby Lisa" I said chuckle cutely and drink the chocolate milk.

I stay little bit longer just looking at the stars. "Mm Oppa I will go now I will visit next time again and give you maybe a many good news" I said as I stand up.

"Byee see you again and don't worry about me I'll be okay" I bid and tap the tomb.

As I am driving I saw a play ground so I stop and standby at the kids swing.

Then I saw a couple with their two child playing I thought no one will go here at this time it's already 9 pm. I shrugged and just slowly swinging but I can't controll not to look to the two kids playing.

I feel envy by just looking at them having a happy time.

"Mom and Dad baby got scratch on her knee" I heard the kid maybe she's the older. Their parents ran at their direction "Mom baby hurts her knee I didn't keep watch her properly Baby I am sorry Unnie didn't taking care at you properly" Her Unnie said as she wipe her younger sister tears.

They love each other sister to sister and their parents also. I am just seating here why I am getting teary. I look up so that my tears won't fall.

"Aish really" I said as my tears really fall. I already visit Oppa so that I let out my sadness. It's my fault I stop at play ground though I pout for nothing.

I really want to feel that I'm so envious right now. I give up and let my tears to run on my cheeks then a roar of thunder I just look up at the sky then it's start to rain but I didn't stand instead I lean my head on the chain looking at nowhere and tears falling.

AUTHOR POV

Irene is going home after she buy something she was just looking at the road until she pass in the play ground and she saw a person seating swinging slowly she stop driving when that person sitting is familiar. Irene look around see a car at the road side and she's sure that car was own by Lisa.

She get a umbrella at the backseat and go out. Irene walk towards to Lisa then she stand beside Lisa on the swing.

Lisa felt the rain drop stop and she smell familiar and she was sure who is it "Hyun what are you doing here?" Lisa spoke closing her eyes.

IRENE POV

"You what are you doing here and it's raining why you didn't stand up to find shelter so you won't get wet" I said to her but she just smile.

"I just want to feel that someone cry too and the sky granted to cry with me maybe the sky felt bad that I am crying alone and maybe the sky don't want to notice me that I am crying so the sky join and get me wet. Do you notice that I am crying when you approach me?" Lisa ask me as she look up to me.

I shook my head "No, maybe the sky succeed because I didn't notice" I said and she's back leaning at the chain and I am still standing holding the umbrella. "Come with me Lisa just go home to our house for now" I added.

"Mm okay, let's just stay for a minutes" She said and I nodded even she didn't saw. We stay silent the rain drop the only we heard.

"Hyun" Lisa call me and I just humm.

"You know, when you're drowning, you don't actually inhale until right before you black out. You know what it is called?" Lisa ask me.

"I don't" I answered.

"It's called voluntary apnea it's like no matter how much you're freaking out, the instinct to not let any water in is so strong that you won't open your mouth until you feel like your head's exploding." She stop for a seconds "But then when you finally do let it in that's when it stops hurting." She take a long breath and Lisa spoke again "It's not scary anymore. It's actually kind of peaceful." She said as she open her eyes that I saw the sadness.

"Just say what you want to say I am listening I am all ears to listen" I said softly.

"Yeah, aside from the not sleeping, the jumpiness, the constant, overwhelming, crushing fear that something terrible's about to happen" She stop

"The... The persistent feeling of being under threat." And I finished what Lisa was going to say.

"But it's not just a feeling, though. It's --- it's like it's panic attack. You know, like I can't even breath." She said as her tears fall down.

"Like you're drowning?" I ask her she smile bitterly.

"Yeah" Lisa simply said it in low tone and about to close her eyes.

"Oh don't close your eyes. Lisa stand up and we will go home the rain is not stopping" I said immediately and held her arms to stand up but she is about fall but I sigh in relief when she immediately hold the chain for support.

"You will get wet Hyun don't come closer to me" She said but I didn't mind to get wet.

"Shh don't talk just walk carefully" I said she just sigh.

I walk her in front of the passenger door and I open the car door for her because she can't even walk straight maybe it's because she kick the chair at the restaurant.

"How about my Car?" She as I get inside and start to drive.

"I just tell to our driver to get the car so relax you can close your eyes I will wake you up when we are arrived." I said to her and Lisa nodded.