THE SPELL IN THE STARS

VAIPOE

                    TW for: Discussion of child abuse

"Hello, Vaipoe. How are you today?" They asked me.
"I am just fine! It's totally not that I don't even want to be here!" I snapped sarcastically. I swear I wanted the room and the therapist to disappear because there is nothing wrong with me. "Vaipoe, I am here to help and if you're going to not let me, I won't be able to do so." They elaborated. 
I sighed and began to speak again. "I was physically hurt by my father and emotionally hurt by my mother. But I know I deserve it and it's not a big deal because what happened to me, happens to everyone and therefore, it's normal." I said, feeling guilty even talking about this. I was told that things inside the house, stay inside the house. I felt so disobedient. "Just because something is normalized, doesn't make it okay, Vaipoe. Your parents abused you. That's not something that you can just brush over." The therapist explained to me calmly.
"But they did nice things to me sometimes! They would apologise, let me buy something as an apology gift or give me affection afterwards. And they would do nice things other than that. Then they would get back to doing what they did again. So they're not bad parents or bad people. They probably just had bad days. They loved me." I tried to protest with her.
"Vaipoe, those are basic things they should be offering." They stated. I was so mad I felt my hands turn into fists and I had the urge to punch the table in front of me.

"There is no way that could be true! How?!"

"It's just punishment, not a big deal." I said more trying to convince myslef more than them. I loved them and I didn't want to believe this freaking therapist. "No, abusing you isn't a punishment."
"It's still okay!" I tried to argue again. "No, Vaipoe! That's not true and that will never be true! You didn't deserve to be abused." The therapist said frustratedly as they frowned and massaged their temple. "So what my parents did wasn't something everyone does as in it's not normal?" I questioned them after taking a deep breath."Well, it's very normalized all over every planet including ours. Even though people know it's an issue and it shouldn't be accepted by any means or to any degrees. And no, not all abusers change Vaipoe. Some do, but not all and even then, what they have done is still wrong. Some people who have abused kids who are adults might have done it without knowledge of how harmful it is but that still doesn't make what they did acceptable. It's completely up to you to forgive them or not and if you don't, you shouldn't feel guilty for it. If you do, that's alright too."

"I-" I felt my eyes start watering and my lips quivering as lump in my throat began to form. No, I couldn't cry. Especially in front of them. Eventually, the tears fell and i couldn't stop them. I have been bottling up my emotions and trying to keep a straight face and it all just ended crumbling down on me. "So basically my parents didn't love me?" I questioned them with a hoarse voice. "Maybe they did or maybe they didn't. Either way, they shouldn't have done those things to you, Vaipoe. You're still allowed to love them and morn them." They told me as they took a sip from their water bottle. "I am sorry if I was rude at first." I looked away from them. "You didn't do anything. I was just upset, that's all." I elaborated in shame. Maybe they did have a point "It's fine. I know it's a hard thing to understand sometimes. Plus, you're still in shock at the moment." I stayed quiet for a few seconds and spoke up again. "Do you think if they were still alive that they wouldn't have continued on with this?" I nervously asked whilst biting my lip. "I am not sure they would've but even if it was a possibility, I wouldn't know because they are not with us. Anyways, I think that's enough for today. I'll see you next session." They stated and got up from their chair. I cried as I headed out the room. "What happened?" Haunui asked as he rushed over to me in order to check if I was okay. "You'll know soon." He nodded and I let him comfort me before he left me, stood next to the door and eavesdropped on Guifi's conversation with Vairani and Aitoarii. I decided to join in.

"I need a break." I heard Vairani say.

"What are some ways we can help?" Aitoarii asked.

"Try to know her triggers and avoid them as much as possible. Try to show her some genuine affection, normalize her showing her emotions and avoid any violence of any kind as it could trigger her." Guifi advised.

"Thank you for your time." Vairani said.

I heard the doorknob being turned and I ran over away from the door with Haunui and sat down next to him. Guifi, Vairani and Aitoarii, all came back. Aitoarii asked to hug me and so did Vairani. I was asked by both of them and I didn't have an issue and let them do it. Aitoarii gave her a kiss on the forehead and Vairani gave me one on the cheek and to me after her granting them permission to do so. That to me was such a sad and sweet situation to me. Haunui joined in and hugged me too after requesting and was welcomed. I thought that Vairani's affection was more pitiful than loving. It wasn't that I thought she hated me, it's just that she  hasn't known me for that long so I didn't think it was anything more than pity. Aitoarii seemed like a softie but in a way he would never admit it and usually got along with people and got liked them even though he wouldn't have had that much time to spend with them. Haunui's affection was mainly love, however, I think he just feels mainly bad for me. After all, he has been my close friend before he found out I was his sister and now, he is my brother. I just want everyone of them to actually consider me a part of this family.

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I love Haunui sm!! I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter! More coming soon!